calmStrings4002 Member Profile

...See more I am new to 7 cups but find myself in a state which is not bearable. I am in a man who is in a marriage with my wife and since soon 20 years. We have three kids together (16, 14, 11). We have mostly had a good time and we have supported and let each other do what we each like even when our kids where younger (they are now teens all three). Since many years I have felt the situation being OK but clearly lacking in one area, intimacy and nearness including sex. Perhaps more widely, our way to allow each other autonomy to explore and focus on our different interests have been positive in many respects but we do not share many hobbies and priorities different things which has made our bonds less strong. Now I have had a growing feeling for quite some time that I am not happy in our marriage. To complicate stuff, I travel globally for work and have started to collaborate within a group where I have a set of new colleagues. One of them and I have falling wildly in love and it has turned into a love affair since about 10 months. We meet about monthly for a few days for work but they also include nights together. This person is recently out of a marriage. This has been a very joyful situation for myself but the double-game is unjust, unfair and destructive. I feel it has been needed for a while in order to land in my own decisions about ”Should I stay in my marriage and let the other relationship go”? ”should I stay in my other relationship and let my marriage go?” or ”Should step away from both and focus on myself and my parenting”? I am superclear about the steps forward one day to shift over to another clear idea the next - confused! Should I stay or should I go?

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