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carefulBike274
88 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceJune 25, 2021
Bio

I have bipolar, PTSD and GAD. I’m a good person working on understanding myself better for me and my family.

Recent forum posts
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Anxiety threatening my marriage
Relationship Stress / by carefulBike274
Last post
 July 17th, 2021
...See more Hi everyone. I have been having relationship problems with my spouse. First, I’ll preface it by saying I have debilitating anxiety. My therapist and psychiatrists have said I have some combination of GAD, PTSD and bipolar (it’s not the textbook “manic” bipolar. I shifts moods quickly.). I have a history of sexual abuse and an alcoholic mother who was severely debilitating with her verbal and emotional abuse growing up. I’ve thankfully made pretty strong boundaries with her, but I’m struggling with making my spouse feel emotionally supported. She says that I dominate our relationship emotionally with my issues and don’t show her the attention that she needs. I agree with this assessment. She also says I’m emotionally manipulative by making her and everyone know I’m silently upset until they ask what’s wrong. I can’t really argue with that either. I feel like I’m tapped out on what my meds can do to help. The rest I have to put the hard work in to make that positive change. I’ve been working with my therapist at identifying problems that are making me unhappy. One of them is ruminating. The main way we have been combatting it is through mindfulness meditation and having a worry journal. He wants me to put my worries down and put the worst case scenario to help me see how my thoughts are irrational in many cases. Honestly, this is an excuse, but I find it hard to fit these items in each day working 50+ hours per week at my job and having two kids. We are also going to do marriage counseling. It is to the point where she is drawing a line that I have to get better or she will leave me. I’m terrified of this. She is my best friend and I can’t imagine life without her. My therapist and I will be able to meet more frequently now from about once per month to biweekly, which will help. I’ve seen him for 4 years, so I really don’t want to end that relationship. My wife is highly emotionally intelligent but I feel she doesn’t understand that with crippling anxiety, I really struggle to see beyond my own problems. But I have no choice but to get better. Any advice on what to do?
carefulBike274 profile picture
Anxiety threatening my marriage
Anxiety Support / by carefulBike274
Last post
 June 25th, 2021
...See more Hi everyone. I have been having relationship problems with my spouse. First, I’ll preface it by saying I have debilitating anxiety. My therapist and psychiatrists have said I have some combination of GAD, PTSD and bipolar (it’s not the textbook “manic” bipolar. I shifts moods quickly.). I have a history of sexual abuse and an alcoholic mother who was severely debilitating with her verbal and emotional abuse growing up. I’ve thankfully made pretty strong boundaries with her, but I’m struggling with making my spouse feel emotionally supported. She says that I dominate our relationship emotionally with my issues and don’t show her the attention that she needs. I agree with this assessment. She also says I’m emotionally manipulative by making her and everyone know I’m silently upset until they ask what’s wrong. I can’t really argue with that either. I feel like I’m tapped out on what my meds can do to help. The rest I have to put the hard work in to make that positive change. I’ve been working with my therapist at identifying problems that are making me unhappy. One of them is ruminating. The main way we have been combatting it is through mindfulness meditation and having a worry journal. He wants me to put my worries down and put the worst case scenario to help me see how my thoughts are irrational in many cases. Honestly, this is an excuse, but I find it hard to fit these items in each day working 50+ hours per week at my job and having two kids. We are also going to do marriage counseling. It is to the point where she is drawing a line that I have to get better or she will leave me. I’m terrified of this. She is my best friend and I can’t imagine life without her. My therapist and I will be able to meet more frequently now from about once per month to biweekly, which will help. I’ve seen him for 4 years, so I really don’t want to end that relationship. My wife is highly emotionally intelligent but I feel she doesn’t understand that with crippling anxiety, I really struggle to see beyond my own problems. But I have no choice but to get better. Any advice on what to do?
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