Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
charmingChestnut8656
656 M Embraced 5
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceAugust 7, 2020
Bio
Recent forum posts
charmingChestnut8656 profile picture
I'm 33 and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life
Depression Support / by charmingChestnut8656
Last post
 August 15th, 2024
...See more Hi all, I think I'm depressed or starting to, not for the first time in my life. I used to have a steady job until 8 months ago when they decided to close the company. I absolutely hated it but I needed routine in my life and also I live in a different country from where I was born and raised (I moved here to study and stayed) and I needed the job contract to be able to stay here (currently I have a staying permit until December 2025). I was really enjoying being unemployed until recently, when I started feeling like my life has no purpose at all. I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't want to go back to my home country, that's not an option. I don't feel like looking for a job because I have no idea what I want to do, I'm only qualified in administration and I don't want to work in it anymore. I can't imagine myself starting another degree at my age. I did enroll in the open university but they can't give you any certificate. I'm so bored all the time... I don't enjoy anything. I mostly sleep, most days I'm awake for about 10 hours and I just can't wait for the night to arrive so I can be asleep. I've been going to therapy for almost 4 years now (with some breaks in between) and it helps a lot but it isn't magic and I've found out I have CPTSD from childhood which makes everything worse. I don't know what to do anymore....
charmingChestnut8656 profile picture
Am I in the wrong?? I feel like I'm losing my sanity!
Relationship Stress / by charmingChestnut8656
Last post
 June 20th, 2024
...See more Hi all, I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now and we used to be friends before (since 2 years but we started getting closer and having deep talks since last September). I'm currently unemployed (since 5 months) and I've developed some habits that aren't healthy for me but they don't involve or harm anyone else and it's not something that will continue once I find a job (I've already had a period like this when I was unemployed so I say it from experience). I shared this part of myself with him because I truly trusted him and at first everything was fine but in the past month or so he's been trying to lecture me about how I need to change it because it doesn't do me any good. I'm well aware that it isn't contributing to my physical health, but at this time of my life it does me more good than harm (mentally) and I'm not worried about it at all because I know it's temporary and I have no intention to stop and I've told him that more than once. I've asked him again and again to leave this subject, to please stop bringing it up because it won't change, and that I'm an adult and can make my own decisions in life. I feel like he's trying to educate me and control me and again, this does not influence him! Meanwhile, he keeps repeating he's doing it for my own good... I'm over 30 years old and I've been going to therapy for a while now (I've changed SO many things for the better, and also learned I have CPTSD from childhood), my therapist knows everything about it and I agree with her when she tells me that it's my personal decision to take, when I want to take and IF I want to take it. I'm exhausted repeating myself again and again and I'm tired of him thinking he knows what's best for me better than myself, he just won't leave this alone and it makes me worry about our future together. It's important to point out I'm not doing anything that endangers my life and that I'm not talking about an addiction of any type, I'm living in a different country from where I was born and raised, I have no relatives here so zero help with my everyday life and I have two dogs, I bought an apartment last year (and did it all on my own) and I'm about to buy a car. So by all means, none of what I'm doing prevents me from functioning fully! So, am I in the wrong here? Is it so unacceptable that I decide for myself when it involves my life and it doesn't harm my daily adult functioning in any way?
Search more from @charmingChestnut8656
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
11 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Honest Voice Strong Start Reconnect First Post Reaching out First Compassion Forum Friend
Report an issue