I'm 33 and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life

Hi all,

I think I'm depressed or starting to, not for the first time in my life.

I used to have a steady job until 8 months ago when they decided to close the company.

I absolutely hated it but I needed routine in my life and also I live in a different country from where I was born and raised (I moved here to study and stayed) and I needed the job contract to be able to stay here (currently I have a staying permit until December 2025).

I was really enjoying being unemployed until recently, when I started feeling like my life has no purpose at all. I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't want to go back to my home country, that's not an option.

I don't feel like looking for a job because I have no idea what I want to do, I'm only qualified in administration and I don't want to work in it anymore. I can't imagine myself starting another degree at my age. I did enroll in the open university but they can't give you any certificate.

I'm so bored all the time... I don't enjoy anything. I mostly sleep, most days I'm awake for about 10 hours and I just can't wait for the night to arrive so I can be asleep.

I've been going to therapy for almost 4 years now (with some breaks in between) and it helps a lot but it isn't magic and I've found out I have CPTSD from childhood which makes everything worse.