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charmingSkies4327
166 M Embraced 1
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceMarch 12, 2024
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Undiagnosed and confused
7 Cups Online Therapy / by charmingSkies4327
Last post
 March 25th, 2024
...See more I've always known something is wrong with me. I struggle to express my emotions when talking to real people. I hate myself. My looks amd my personality. I am an awful person and i do bad things without having a reason or a motive. I cheated on my boyfriend at the strat of our relationship. I liked my boyfriend and our relationship seemed good. The sex was good and he treated me well. I don't know why I did what i did. It was only physical and I didn't like the other guy as a person. I can't say the sex was better. It was the same as my boyfriend. I guess I was just a ***. I acknowledge what I did was awful and very hurtful and humiliating for my boyfriend. He gave me another chance because he loves me but now he can't stop thinking about it. It has been a year. He knows I can't talk about my feelings and told me I can just write him a letter about my feelings in the relationship and my motive for cheating. There was no motive I think I was just a ***. I am afraid to seek professional help because I dont want people to think that I'm faking or seeking attention. I hate myself but also feel like a narcissist. If I tell him this he is going to think i just want him to feel bad for me.
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