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chrundle
1 542 M Embraced 4
PathStep 15 Compassion hearts54 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceMarch 12, 2024
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Birthday
Depression Support / by chrundle
Last post
 July 16th
...See more Todays my birthday and the only thing I can think about is relapsing. 
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idk
Trauma Support / by chrundle
Last post
 July 11th
...See more I am having a hard time tonight. About 2-3 weeks ago i found out my boyfriend of almost 2 years has been married this whole time, and living a complete double life. Ive essentially gone no contact but.. I can explain the mental abuse..... I feel like my brain has spent these last two weeks trying to process what actually happened to me and i just feel... broken. I know i have to take accountability.. I stayed longer than i should have, trying to fix something i though was real for both of us.. I should have respected myself more. Maybe i deserved it. 
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Deployment
Military & Veterans / by chrundle
Last post
 April 20th
...See more My partner is currently deployed in Syria. We were having some issues before he left and it just feels like this deployment is drifting us apart. It’s a 8hr time difference so his day is my night and I just feel like Im not doing enough to help with what he’s going through out there. I feel like my family is tired of hearing me talk about it all and it’s not like I’m in therapy to process what was happening before he left and I hate putting more on my partner emotionally because of what he’s already dealing with and I feel like we have no space to fix anything because he’s just gone. It just starts to feel lonely.
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Eating
Eating Disorder Support / by chrundle
Last post
 April 21st
...See more Eating feels like a task and I dont know what to do about it. Most the time I dont have any desire to eat, nor the will to figure out what to eat. The whole thing in general just is something i dont enjoy doing most the time. However, I have really bad body dysmorphia and would like to try going to the gym, but i dont ever have the energy for it do to the lack of eating and just always feeling ehh. Ive been trying to get out of the cycle and I had a really good week of eating not long ago but ive since fallen back on making myself do it. 
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Everything and Nothing
Journals & Diaries / by chrundle
Last post
 April 21st
...See more Feeling everything and having nothing to say is a weird place to be. All the things going through my mind, but when I go to put it on paper or write it here, it's like my entire vocabulary bank can't add up to what's brewing inside. 
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Sticky Situation
Friendship Support / by chrundle
Last post
 March 13th, 2024
...See more Disclaimer: Sorry its so long 🥴 I have a male friend, we'll call him Lee. Lee has been my friend for almost 4 years now. His family has always been very strong advocates of us getting into a relationship. Lee and I have had numerous conversations with me explaining to him that we simply will not be in a relationship together. We have both gotten into relationships and have talked to multiple people. However, it seems like no matter what I say or do, he and his family are always treating me like I have an obligation to be with or around Lee. His mother is always "Chrundle is what's best for him, he needs to be with her. She's gunna be the one to straighten him out and help him grow up." (which I feel like is rediculous because why am I responsible for straightening YOUR son out). They all have it in their heads that there's no other way for this to go other then for me to be with him, and he takes it and runs with it. Completely disregarding anything I said to him before. He does romantic gestures I'm constantly having to correct, and is constantly bringing me up in the most obscene ways, for no reason. Recently, things have gotten a lot worse.  Over the course of this friendship, I met his sister, we'll call her Suga. Suga and I clicked IMMEDIATELY. She became my absolute best friend, her daughter calls me her aunt, we are thick as thieves. Over the course of my and Suga's friendship growing, there have been small questions on whether me and Suga were dating or messing around (we are both bisexual), to which we gave a strong no. Lately, it has become a serious issue. Between Lee, his mom, his uncle, and Suga's boyfriend, EVERYBODY thinks we are trying to date. Every time Suga steps out of the house to come over to hang out its an argument with her and her boyfriend. I got a call from Suga while Lee was over at my house hanging out and she was telling me goodnight and we said I love you and hung up and the next day Lee texted me at 6:30 in the morning asking me if Suga and I were dating. Lee's mom is constantly asking if me and Suga are sleeping around. Her and her boyfriend argue about it almost every day. Its constantly being brought up to the point where im becoming defensive.  I have never had a friendship that I have valued in the way that I value mine and Suga's. It is pure, and honest, and genuine, and soft, and kind, and it's a love that I have never received from a friend before. She gives me a safe space where i can be soft and girly and not have to be so rough around the edges. She gives me a space to express myself and I just feel like everyone is just trying to *** on it. We have never given anyone any reason to feel like we have done anything. We are not the touchy feely type of friends. There is no drunk kissing, or "accidental" lesbian incidents. We respect eachothers boundaries and personal space.  I feel like Lee and his entire family have this sense of entitlement over me, like they have a say so in what I do. It's... unsettling. I don't know how to handle this situation. But I do know that I think distance between Lee and I is very much needed. 
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