clementiny Member Profile

...See more Hey! So I’ve been looking for a really good, knowledgeable LGBTQ community, and I’m glad I found this forum, because I have some questions about myself. I’m AFAB, and questioning my gender and sexuality a lot right now. I currently identify as a demi-girl and bi, but I’m kind of wondering if I’m not, and also how my parents would react (I told my mom that I think I’m bi, and she was fine with it, but I haven’t talked about my gender). Sexuality: I assumed I was bi because I’ve had a crush on a girl and a boy. The girl I like is bi and with her nonbinary partner, which made me really jealous when she got together with them. I’ve only liked one girl, but I feel like I prefer women over men? And that if I ended up with someone it would be a woman. I almost never find men attractive, (kinda lowkey hate men) and I don’t like the idea of being with one, so would I be lesbian? Like I’ve realized that I kinda really want to be with a girl but would it count if I only had one crush? And I also haven’t had a crush on anyone I haven’t known for a long time (this girl, for a year, and a boy I’ve known since I was really young). I’d say I had a crush on a male anime character and a video game character, but they’re fake men so idk?? Anyway I might be demi-romantic then, bc I only have crushes on those I have bonds with and I’m not usually attracted to celebrities or random people? I have been attracted to a few girls before, I think. could someone be bi and prefer women?? (I also read a ton of gay romance specifically yuri, and I kind of want a relationship with a woman like in those yuri) idk if I like nonbinary people, because I’ve not met many but maybe?? That would make me pan I suppose. I also feel like this is just a phase, because it’s only the past like week or so I’ve begun seriously considering ending up with a woman and before I suppose it never felt as strong? I do have phases where I feel more…how do I put it…more inclined towards wanting to have a partner, like asap? I also doubt a lot if my crushes are actually crushes. I’m inclined to say they would be, because it feels different from friendship and I really would like to be in a relationship with them. Gender: over the past months I’ve been more and more uncomfortable with being called “girl”, “daughter” and “she”. Like it makes me internally mad and uncomfortable and kind of itchy? I also hate my birth name and I’ve started going by Charlie online to try it out (I kind of love it? Because it’s gender neutral but also feminine a little) But I don’t want to make my mom upset that I hate my name or that I don’t feel like a woman. I mean I kind of do? I identify with them in some ways and I like some feminine clothes but I don’t feel like one sometimes? I kind of want to be called “they/them” sometimes but then I’m worried I would be wrong or not actually nonbinary and just a confused cis girl. I do have periods where I feel more feminine and like an idiot but then I go back to feeling less so.😭 I’m not really worried about coming out if I do discover a label that feels right (I know you don’t have to come out) because my parents are supportive of lgbtq, my mom is even reading a book about gender. However she doesn’t understand fully gender vs sex and my dad wants to know why being trans isn’t considered a mental illness. Plus if I was nonbinary would I be trans?? I don’t want to choose the wrong labels and I feel kind of stupid for even trying them out or being proud of something I am not…because I don’t want to reflect badly on the community if I’m wrong. I’ll find a label and think it sounds right and then I’ll be mistaken - I used to think I was aroace, but then I realized I actually do have feelings for people and want relationships. I wish I hadn’t said I was, because then I was kind of written off by my crush before I knew I liked her, and now my opportunity is gone. I know I probably should just go with my gut and change labels if they don’t feel right, but I’m just so confused… I’m sorry if this is so confusing or I sound weird, I’M CONFUSING but any help, resources or just reassurance would be wonderful! Thank you ❤️

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