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communicativeKiwi1579
516 M Embraced 4
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2023 Member sinceSeptember 20, 2019
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feeling unwanted
Relationship Stress / by communicativeKiwi1579
Last post
 November 25th, 2022
...See more my partner and i started becoming close early april when he moved into my flat as a roommate, we instantly hit it off and formed a strong connection. we both agreed since we just got out of relationships we weren’t looking for anything serious, (fwb). but, like always we caught feelings and it turned out to be more. i, however, had to pretty much had to beg him to ask me to his his girlfriend. after waiting for him to make up his mind for two months, i gained some self respect back and removed myself from the situation. i saw other people, decreased my time spent with him, texting him by a lot and it lasted about 3 weeks for him to come crying back saying he changed his mind. saying he cared about me more than the fear of the relationship not working out; said he was willing to try. after about a week of thinking about it i, of course, went back to him because of how safe and happy he made me feel. I tried to ignore the fact i had to ask him multiple times again and again to ask me officially, he kept using the excuse “i definitely will but i’m waiting for the right time”. anyway, fast forward, he asked me officially and i accepted excitedly. we blossomed beautifully and we were so happy. he taught me how to communicate better (since i’ve had trouble in the past) listened to all my struggles. we’ve been dating for almost 2 months, yet i still feel sort of unwanted. my love languages, physical touch and words of affirmation, i get very little of. maybe i’m overthinking.. i always initiate physical stuff. cuddles, planning to see him. i’ve stopped trying to initiate sex because most of the time he’s not in the mood.. it’s when i feel the most mutual love and connection with him and when it barely ever happens it sort of takes away something. i’ve noticed he’ll only initiate cuddles or whatever when i’m visibly upset to try and make me feel better, but why not when i’m happy and in a good mood to be with him? i’ve been an emotional wreck, especially after getting the implant birth control. my hormones are 2x worse and i don’t feel like myself at all, and for what, him to nut in me every two weeks ? lasting one round??!! sis. not feeling it… trying to tell myself i’m self sabotaging and to chill the *** out. but i can’t stop thinking about it.
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