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compassionateWriter9710
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PathStep 5 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2022 Member sinceMarch 27, 2020
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Do I just give up?
Relationship Stress / by compassionateWriter9710
Last post
 April 10th, 2020
...See more Background: my boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and lived together for almost a year and a half of that time. We both struggle with anxiety and depression. He stopped his medication over a year ago. He gets low sometimes and often questions if he loves himself and if he cant love himself can he love me? Things were great until about 6 months ago when I started doubting his commitment to the relationship and wondered if he was having doubts about me. He assured me that it had nothing to do with me and that he was just dealing with his emotions. I assumed it was just my own anxiety telling me that he was doubting me. In October, he was accepted into a masters program overseas. Because of my work situation we had always know that we would be long distance for 2020. So him leaving didnt bother me. However he started distancing himself, and when asked he just said there was a lot of pressure with the move. Right now: Just before the lockdown, he broke up with me. I feel like he justified all the anxieties I was having and that everything was a lie. He told me that he had been processing his feelings and hadnt actually decided until a week before he did it. His reason for breaking up: he doesnt love me the way I love him. He is struggling to love himself and so he doesnt feel like he can love me. I feel devastated. I never got the chance to work things out with him or support him with what hes going through. He just ended things. During the break up, he even told me that he has been seeing a therapist to try work on himself but he never mentioned this to be before. He said hes tried everything to try and fix things. However I feel like this is untrue as he never actually communicated with me about it and had been distancing himself. I feel almost as if he was distancing himself so much that he was almost preparing in case he decided to break up with me. I am shocked and our families are shocked, they never saw it coming at all. Advice: Is this worth persuing? Is this just his anxiety/depression that needs to be worked through? Should I just cut my losses and move on? I miss him so much and his mom and I have been in contact which makes things harder to let go of. He doesnt want to talk to me though and its hard to sort this out with the distance. I honestly just want to buy a ticket and go sort this out in person but with this virus its just not possible and it would be a huge time/money commitment that might just anger him and make things worse. What do I do?
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