confusedcoconut99 Member Profile

...See more My family has been suffering financially my whole life, and it put a huge dent in our collective happiness. I am grateful for many things in my life; we have a roof over our head, food to keep us full, clothes to keep us warm. I will never forget these blessings, because I know that many people all over the world lack some or all of them. But my dad’s in huge debt, he’s taken so many loans from the bank and his friends and colleagues, and he’s barely able to put to food on the table. He put me and my siblings in the best schools. Thanks to God, then him, I was able to get both a bachelor’s and a master’s degree. Both of my siblings are also now studying university abroad, which made our financial situation even worse. After graduating, I tried to find a job in my field, which would’ve helped me get a good enough salary to support my family, but I couldn’t due to many circumstances that I couldn’t change or control. Nonetheless, I was thankfully able to find a job in a completely different field, which doesn’t pay much and barely covers my own needs and necessities, but I am helping my mother and siblings in every way possible. The thing is, I don’t like my current job; it does nothing to feed my soul or passion. I am waking up every day dreading to go to work because it doesn’t speak to me, and that it has nothing to do with what I studied and worked hard toward for 6 years. However, it feels like staying is the only way I am able to help my family, even if it’s in the smallest amounts. I am helpless. I want my family to be happy and free of financial stress. I want to be able to liberate them for their burdens, but I truly don’t enough power or capacity in me to do it. Side note: I have a gastric sleeve, and I haven’t been taking care of my physical health like I should, which just adds to my debilitation even more. I don’t know what to do anymore. I know that others suffer in more horrifying and painful ways, but I can only see what I am going through, and it’s draining everything within me. I don’t have friends, I have alienated myself from so many people. I don’t go out, I don’t do any of my hobbies. I just eat, sleep, go to work, go back home, eat, sleep again. Plus, my parents treat my like their therapist whenever they fight or whenever they feel like spilling all their feelings and thoughts out. I am so sick of it. I just want it to end.

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