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conscientiousMango2481
147 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2015 Member sinceOctober 15, 2015
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Depression Support / by conscientiousMango2481
Last post
 October 18th, 2015
...See more Hello, I just discovered this site and it's hard to find somewhere or someone to talk too without them judging you. I am 22 years old and this past year has been very rough for me. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 18 years old right after I had graduated high school but I had known something was off since I was 13 years old probably even before that. I would think of drowning myself in bathtubs, trying to find ways to kill myself when I was middle school because of bullying, complicated relationship with my family and friends and school. As I got older, it got worse; I would try and reach out to someone only to have them brush me off and laugh at me saying I was only doing it for attention. The depression has been on and off for years but always finds a way to come back and when it does, it hits me hard. I would work, draw, paint, basically do anything to keep myself distracted but 2015 has been a rough year for me. I am unemployed, with a spinal injury, my hips losing lubrication, I was checked for breast cancer, which I was almost refused tests because of my age, my mother refused to believe me when I was in pain and my father made jokes saying that they were gonna put me in a nuthouse. I got skeptical looks from doctors and they gave me pills for almost everything. I have a desk drawer full of medication that I refuse to take because I don't want to become dependant on them. All of that followed with anemia, chest pains, weight gain and losing weight, tension headaches, migraines, dizzy spells, muscle spasms, legs going numb and tingling mixed with anxiety and some OCD and you have me and many other people. I lost my last job due to being in the hospital and when my fiancee stayed home with me to make sure I was okay he was called "lazy" and "stupid" by the employer for staying by my side followed by my mother eaves dropping on the conversation and getting upset because she thought that he was making it seemed like she wasn't any help what so ever. The list goes on and on. I came to this site to vet out frustrations and get some positive feedback from people who deal with things like I do.
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