New and Looking for Help
Hello, I just discovered this site and it's hard to find somewhere or someone to talk too without them judging you. I am 22 years old and this past year has been very rough for me. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 18 years old right after I had graduated high school but I had known something was off since I was 13 years old probably even before that. I would think of drowning myself in bathtubs, trying to find ways to kill myself when I was middle school because of bullying, complicated relationship with my family and friends and school. As I got older, it got worse; I would try and reach out to someone only to have them brush me off and laugh at me saying I was only doing it for attention.
The depression has been on and off for years but always finds a way to come back and when it does, it hits me hard. I would work, draw, paint, basically do anything to keep myself distracted but 2015 has been a rough year for me. I am unemployed, with a spinal injury, my hips losing lubrication, I was checked for breast cancer, which I was almost refused tests because of my age, my mother refused to believe me when I was in pain and my father made jokes saying that they were gonna put me in a nuthouse. I got skeptical looks from doctors and they gave me pills for almost everything. I have a desk drawer full of medication that I refuse to take because I don't want to become dependant on them. All of that followed with anemia, chest pains, weight gain and losing weight, tension headaches, migraines, dizzy spells, muscle spasms, legs going numb and tingling mixed with anxiety and some OCD and you have me and many other people. I lost my last job due to being in the hospital and when my fiancee stayed home with me to make sure I was okay he was called "lazy" and "stupid" by the employer for staying by my side followed by my mother eaves dropping on the conversation and getting upset because she thought that he was making it seemed like she wasn't any help what so ever. The list goes on and on. I came to this site to vet out frustrations and get some positive feedback from people who deal with things like I do.
Hello! I am also new but reading your post made me feel such sympathy. I've had severe depression and anxiety since the I had my first son some 9 years back. But like you I always figured something was off and well it runs in the family.
I have also had a back injury that caused me to change my career and it's made me feel even worst! Sometimes when it gets so bad I like to think about what I was five year ago today and regardless if I was better or worse at that moment in time things were different...so my point is everything eventually will change and we're really only given only what we can handle and never more.
Even though that really never helps when the depression is rampant and everything just feels WRONG and all I want is a dark cool room and my bed. But it's a disease and we have to deal with and fight it. Because donuts and family and hugs and cats and puppy's and whatever it is THT makes you smile is worth fighting for.
As far as meds don't be so worried about them. There's a lot of ups n downs and honestly they will never totally "fix" you but sometithey help give you a break and it can help you deal with junk better. But also I've heard good things of natural supplements like St. John's wart and turmeric for depression and lemon balm for anxiety and an herb dr oz spoke about for pain. I have yet to try them but natural can be very effective and way less side effects of your sensitive to meds.
Anyhoo hope that made senseš keep hope aliveš
@Cloudysand13 That is an amazing post, couldn't have said it better myself. I think 7Cups needs more people like you, those kinds of messages can really lift someone up.
Also, to the lovely and amazing person that reached out, hi! It'll be okay, no matter how long that takes. Depression and pain are hard but I know you can get through this. You're a fighter, keep fighting!
