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convivialCurrent6068
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2021 Member sinceNovember 2, 2021
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Is the title supposed to be bpd or My name or some other thing? Idk it’s okay
Personality Disorders Support / by convivialCurrent6068
Last post
 November 3rd, 2021
...See more I don’t even know how to start off there’s too much to say. I have so much anger. So much just gathered and piled up from the past. I don’t know how to deal with it. Just wanna scream and break sh** but ya know I can’t and hitting pillows is too soft and boring. I get frustrated so fast. If I’m sad about one thing I can easily be sad about 5 other things then I become crazy sort of. I mean borderline personality disorder kind of runs in my family. My sister told me I have a ton of signs of it. She has a whole book about it and did a ton of work to keep herself “alive”. But anyways my family frustrates me the most. Enforcing fear about things and just normal parenting mess ups. I’m kind of traumatized but for some reason I’m numb about it. I can let go of these traumatic events but when I’m sad or angry they just kind of make me more sad. But when I’m completely fine and not angry or sad it’s like I’ve never been depressed. Ah jeez there’s so much to write. I’m getting frustrated again. I’ll probably just write again some other time. Talking about my issues just makes me so frustrated. That last thing I gotta say is my family always makes me feel guilty and when I don’t feel guilty I feel like a bad person and a bad son. I just wanna go to the Amazon Forrest and forget about life. And do some ayahuasca.
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