cottoncandycloud96 Member Profile

...See more Hello! I have identified as bisexual since 2014 and am currently wondering if I am actually a lesbian. I've written out the thoughts that have been bouncing around and if anyone has the time, I would love an outsiders perspective. Here we go 1. None of my male relationships (with the exception of 1) have lasted more than a couple of months. Sure, I would find guys cute, but then when I start dating them theyre just average at best. In high school, I wouldn't want them to hold my hand or kiss me or anything. 2. During my long term relationship, I loved my man with all my heart. but: (a) he was abusive. could I just be projecting my mistrust onto other men? (b) when I was dating him, I thought we would get married. That being said, I was always a bit disappointed I would never get to be with a girl. (c) I never really found his body, or ANY male body, sexually arrousing, but we still had good sex. 3. I think some guys on the street are cute; could this just be because the possibility of dating them is impossible/intangible? Even guys I thought were cute only a few months ago have lost their "spark" 4. I havent been friends with a queer woman since early middle school. Maybe I am only dating men because they are whats available? 5. I know about compulsory heterosexuality, but like I said I had grown up with queer friends early in life. I dont think I feel that being straight is "mandatory", but that doesnt mean im not acting subconsciously on it? 6. I dont know that "lesbian" feels right, or maybe I'm just not used to it.

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