courageousPeach4846 Member Profile

...See more We have been together since April 2022 we had such an amazing connection we were addicted to each other to the point we were hardly ever apart which I know is not healthy, in December he decided to snoop down my phone and he see that there was a time I was speaking to other guys maybe up until august even though he told me we wasn’t anything serious (before we were serious) which was later in 2022, he walked out I felt so crap.. I begged him to forgive me and told him he could clearly see I made the decision to cut them off a long time ago and haven’t even thought about doing anything like that since! Anyway he came around and we was okay and then I decided to do it back to him and found all sorts of stuff I wasn’t happy with, his ex had stayed over his, bisexual stuff just shocked the life out of me that he could treat me this way knowing full well he had done the same. We decided in Jan 2023 that we would work on our trust and have a relationship. I have two children and am 9 years older than him F34 M25, he moved in my kids adores him and we was a happy family but this whole time we have both really struggled to trust and things have been a little toxic and controlling. He walks out often and ignores me tells me he is trauma bonded to me and suffering from complex relations ptsd and living as a victim of narcissistic abuse! I was shocked to hear this I have admitted being a bit stalkerish on *** and I would ask him who his new followers are etc and he would do the same and yea I checked his emails to see if he had done anything bad I was so consumed with it at one point I kicked him out before he was about to go on a ski holiday and I was awful to him I was so broken and I just didn’t have the strength to feel like this anymore. We spoke a bit while he was away and he said he had missed me and we need to work on things and he only loves me and would never hurt me he wasn’t interested in any of the bisexual stuff and that I needed to trust him. I had some councelling while he was away and he flew back home and came straight to mine and we were good for a while I worked on myself and tried to trust and find the strength to be me again and think if he leaves it’s his loss instead of the anxiousness that omg life without him I just wouldn’t cope if you get what I mean..this was in march, we have had so many little fights since then and just cannot seem to deal with our emotions anymore he bites at any small little thing and is controlling and jealous but I can be like that also it’s just turned into such a toxic relationship. He want me to change and hates how I react to things and he is so sensitive that at tiny little thing he don’t like he blows up and breaks up with me, well this latest fight we’ve now blocked each other on WhatsApp and unfriended on social media he is completely ignoring my texts and hasn’t tried to reach out in a week. I know he loves me and is so attached to me and vice versa I love him so much and I really wish we could maybe have some councelling together or something and fix this rubbish because it really is just silly things now and when we don’t argue we cannot get enough of each other I’m in such a mess right now and I really don’t know what to do. I did call him yesterday and he ignored it but called me back an hour later we spoke for about 20 mins but it was really just me apologising for how things ended and how I reacted and to make sure he was eating and sleeping and doing okay and if he has seeked any professional help! (When I met him it was very clear he was already struggling with his mental health) he said had spoken to someone but they aren’t really helping or giving him clarity and that he just needs to process this and the call was ended. I haven’t heard from him since. I sent him a quote image today that said I’ll always be here for you even when we don’t talk, I’m still here and I love you and he has just ignored it. I feel better that I have reached out and done what good I can my end but i just really don’t know what to do. I am going to try my hardest to not contact him again now but it’s so hard. He has so much stuff at my place and his car is parked outside. He has been using his work van. He still has my house keys and said he can’t face me right now to collect and just needs time to process. This is the longest he has not spoken to me for 😢 sorry for rambling on there is literally so much to this but I need to stop typing at some point I guess …

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