Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
creativeVase9212
87 M Embraced
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceMarch 2, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
creativeVase9212 profile picture
Long distant co-parenting
Family & Caregivers / by creativeVase9212
Last post
 March 2nd, 2021
...See more At times I am not sure what to do or how to handle everything being thrown at me at this point. I was a very young mom that turned to the in laws for support while I finished school and learned how to balance being a mom/student. My ex husband relies so much on his parents that he no longer is as involved in my son's life like he should be. The relationship my son and his father have, is more like a big brother type of relationship, where it seems like my son's well being isn't a priority. My son is very close to his grandparents because they are the ones that helped me out the most when I became a young parent and continue to look out for him since my son's father and his parents share a house. My son is 13 now and is struggling with a lot, and most of it, unfortunately has to do with our divorce (which has been over 10 years ago) and struggles even more so with change. At this exact moment, I am struggling with getting my son's father onboard to make help my son become a success young adult. My work does take me away from home at times and I always find a way to have my son spend time with me where ever work may take me, figuring out the logistics of it all, check on his school work, and make sure he is being active. I am not getting the same type of help while he is at his dad's. He has no rules, doesn't have to eat healthy, doesn't have to exercise, doesn't have to do chores and most importantly.. his dad and his grandparents do NOT allow him to be independent and learn for himself. He doesn't get any academic help while he is there, and his hygiene practices are not the best either. When my son comes to my house, there are rules put into place and he doesn't like coming over because of them. It breaks my heart he refuses to stay over for long periods of times because of how "strict" my rules are. I honestly do not think they are. It's the basics: Keep your room clean, brush your teeth, start preparing your own meals, spend more time as a family and less time on video games, stay active, and do well in school. I have reached my breaking point and do not feel like my son is not being looked out for like he should be. He is getting used to everyone doing everything for him that he no longer has any kind of self motivation to do anything. I feel as if maybe full custody should be given to me yet I don't do anything about it because I somehow feel indebted to my son's grandparent's for helping me out when I needed them the most. But is it really worth the well being of my son? I'd hate to have them see me as terrible person for requesting full custody or in their eyes "taking him away", but my son really struggles and is alone most of the time anyway. He needs structure and I am trying to find the most amicable way possible to do this, but is there really a way? My fiancee has been the biggest support system for me and is willing to help in any way possible. I just don't know where to go from here. I feel stuck.
Search more from @creativeVase9212
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
5 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out First Compassion Teammate
Report an issue