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ctyding
978 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts46 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes21 Current upvotes21 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceMarch 12, 2021
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Boyfriend's job
Relationship Stress / by ctyding
Last post
 July 31st, 2022
...See more I'm dating a guy who works as a freelance personal trainer right now - he is hardworking, sweet and yes, has a nice body. We click well and I like him. But having grown up in an asian society where lawyers, doctors, engineers, and other white collar stable jobs are seen as more dependable for men, I am a little embarassed to introduce him to my relatives or acquaintances because I know they would judge. This doesn't seem good in the long run but I also don't want to break up right now because I'm happy when I am with him. My mind is in a loop...What should I do? (Separately to girls) When it comes to serious boyfriend, would you consider a freelance personal trainer? ... I am curious about other women's perception
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He is "not ready" for a relationship
Relationship Stress / by ctyding
Last post
 April 26th, 2021
...See more Long story short: I dated a guy and wanted to become official but he isn't ready. So I ended it. I miss him and wonder if I should have been more patient? Details: I have been dating a guy for 5-6 months and we have been acting like a couple - holding hands in public, getting intimate, met parents and friends, sleeping over for days, meeting a couple of times per week, etc. It started bothering me that despite acting like a couple, we have no labels and therefore, no commitments. I brought this up to him previously and he said he isn't ready and only wants to commit if he can see that the girl he dates is indeed a girlfriend he wants because previously when he dated, they seem fine but turn out crazy after awhile. I tried to accept this explanation thinking at the end of the day, labels are just labels. But two weeks later, he missed my text and I didn't get a reply for 24 hrs. This bothered me and made me wonder, is it because he doesn't have enough feelings for me? It made me realize there is a difference between a "busy boyfriend" and a "guy I sleep with who doesn't reply". So I told him I can't take this vague relationship anymore and should stop seeing each other. He asked if I am sure don't want to see him anymore. Then, explained that he doesn't see me as a sex buddy but does not want any commitments yet, especially with a new job. He also sooner or later we probably would be official but wants to be very sure about a relationship before he commits. I told him that if we are going to stay vague this way, I am sure I don't want to continue. With that, we wished each other well and said goodbyes. I miss spending time with him and how comfortable he made me feel when we are together. But I keep feeling that if he liked me enough, he would have took the leap of faith and try to be with me...and not let me go. Am I too self-centered or entitled? Should I have been more patient and wait till he is ready?
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