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cyanJar6010
1 2,405 M Hopeful Heart 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts122 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2026 Member sinceSeptember 3, 2021
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Questioning my gender identity; is it possible to be Omnisexual and trans at the same time?
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by cyanJar6010
Last post
 March 26th, 2022
...See more Just the question that has been going on my mind as i stay and hesitate to come out to my family. I just want to know if it's possible. Fair warning, i'm still questioning my gender identity.
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I tried out making digital art posts on Instagram and Discord and i'm starting to lose hope in my career path as i hang onto it.
Newbie Hub / by cyanJar6010
Last post
 December 27th, 2025
...See more I don't want to seem like a botherer nor am i asking you to like and follow or so. I just want to vent my frustrations as i'm starting to get burnt out by art again and again despite my attempts of putting it in a new leaf. I tried out reaching out to other artists on Discord servers but i'm not getting much answers from other different people and plus they tend to leave me out in the dark most of the time. They like my work but rather just ignore me just like the algorithm on Social Media. Which brings me to the topic on social media, i've been told and told again by my family that social media is a bad influence to anyone else's life but i've urged my family that i got to look into the new school or job that is hard to get into. I tried my very hardeat to branch out and seek new different job opportunities towards my art. It's really difficult as i tried making other projects like making a comic book. It's just as hard as trying to make yourself look thin or thicker. I don't get the recognition i deserve as my family starts to put extreme pressure on me as the times like thia goes by. Some of them tries their best to believe in me but it's just hard to admit that their comments and their "support" feels less genuine and insincere most of the time as they later become someone else. I tired venting on some of the Discord servers including one of them that is the closest to my heart but it's starting to feel like they rather pass by and communicate someone else. I did no toxic thing to them despite my social mistakes. I don't know if i'm being a bad influence to them. It's ALSO hard to know what's going on as the situation becomes blurred at this point. I just wanted sincere help and actually find one asi just wanted to find opportunities towards my craft as a digital artist. I feel burnt out as i feel depressed and anxious or so. I feel mostly empty on what else to feel. I just wanted to fnd help and opportunities. I'm an adult in my early 20's for christs sake. I'm sick of the pressure, sick of the missed opportunities, and i'm sick of my existential depression as time goes on. I'm frustrated man. There's so much words i want to say but i feel like it's either blurred or shut out.
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I've been trying to avoid the news (ESPECIALLY AT THE TIME LIKE THIS) but my father always attatched to the disheartening event.
Newbie Hub / by cyanJar6010
Last post
 March 6th, 2022
...See more As much as i want to pour out my emotional feel into this thread, i have the only supportive yet bigoted father who watches the doomscrolls the news; Heavily Fox News. I got someone near that told me to not sorry about it as my father did said that it's gonna get worse. I don't feel as good in my own environment as i try and find the college programs i want to do online awhile to build my portfolio and get most out of my art career as a digital comic book visual development artist. It's hard to keep my head up without falling into a deep depression, anxiety attack and downright misanthropy. I tried donating most as i can to the children of Ukraine and help the LGBT community in my area to the Rainbow Railroad in secret. Just to put this short; i got alot of frustrating things in mind. I don't want the world to end right in front of me, along with the progress into the mix. I just wish they understand me without thwm just brushing me off and thinkkng of me as a naiive idiot in the family. I wanted to move out SO BADLY but NOW i have to deal with this. It's either that i want my parents to stop watching that one sided news and actually try to have some reasonable actions to themselves, Wanted to bloody move out and get a suite in a another city, Completely redeem myself out of the most traumazing experiences i've been through when i was a thirteen year old kid, Eacape reality for christ sakes, Or just... I don't know, Get rid of myself from the face of the earth. I wanted to cry but feel empty. It's hard to go through like this. I wanted to see ny local therapist but my family doesn't think it's necessary plus they'll think i'm just being hypochondriac. I wanted to stay in bed and sleep forever. It's hard. I'm trying to do a right thing.
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I lost hope in humanity
Newbie Hub / by cyanJar6010
Last post
 February 26th, 2022
...See more With all this war going on with Ukraine. I am just done. My bigoted abusive father is thinking of sending me to the army deapite the fact he's "considering" of focusing on helping work towards my dreams and keeping "close contact" towards me and completely having no idea he's supporting a degenerate in office along with other degenerates in offices. I haven't even come out of the closet to say that i'm Omnisexual questioning my gender identity and a human being struggling to cling to life and humanity itself. Now to come to think of it, i just don't know if there's a way to make myself disappear from the society i've now grown to hate with all the judgemental and the debauchery going on to the world. Including with the wars that are going on and the fact there's nothing you can do about it but to just watch and the news media bastards narrate your life. I'm just trying to find a point in life where i found my redemption arc and a point where i can put all the trauma behind me for good. I can't even go towards the community even Discord that is been welcoming to me. My friends that are grown to become my family without the saddest events that are inevitable of what i want to do to help. It's just hurts to go on without wanting to punch a brick wall or having a severe heart ache without violently crying in my rests. I just don't know if i'll be the same with all the events going on towards humanity. All i just wanted ia to find a redemption arc in my life. All i just wanted is to let the past die. All i just wanted ia to let the past die.
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