darknessends Member Profile

...See more When I was a kid, I remember having this neighbor. Let's call him Dean. Dean and his family are very close to ours and he and his siblings would always play with us (except the oldest). Dean was a fun playmate. Until he started to do things out of the blue. He would touch me in places that he isn't suppose to touch and I couldn't stop him because I was scared. He never penetrated me. But he wanted to so he just kept touching me. All stopped when he moved away. But then this is where everything happens. I began to discover masturbation. But as time went on, I wanted more. I kept masturbating until I was satisfied. I kept watching porn and had... multiple sexual partners online because I liked to explore what other men liked. This caused me to hurt people that I care about. I hurt people who do not deserve to be hurt because of what I do. And I want to stop. I should've back then, but I can't seem to do so. This is something I'm not willing to continue and I always pray to God to give me the strength to just stop and be normal. And then I recently found out that people who were sexually abused when they were a kid tend to be hypersexual today. Not because they liked what happened to them. But because some of them channel their dark past through this sort of addiction. I'm not and will never be proud of this side of me. But I'm more than willing to change and be better. I'm tired of being like this.

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