darkstarz1979 Member Profile

...See more I would just like some other peoples perspective on this and advice on how to proceed. I’ve been with my fiancé for over 2 years now, who has narcissistic tendencies, which he is aware of and trying to work through. We both realize that it stems from his upbringing by his father. A couple weeks ago, my fiancé, let’s call him Mike, and I went out of state to pick up a mustang and brought a truck to trade, and the mustang was worth much more, nicer and newer than the truck so really didn’t want to pass it up. Anyway, Mike planned on doing some work to the mustang and become his daily driver. We had a certain amount of money budgeted for the trip, and things have been tight, but we thought we had enough after figuring mikes, gas, etc. Once we got out of state we realized gas was much much more than we had anticipated or budgeted for. We got to the location, made the swap and about halfway back realized we were screwed bc we didn’t have enough money to get home! So Mike messages his father and asks if he could cash app him 70 bucks, which he would pay back. He said sure and sent it and we made it home. His father rents out the house to us. (So his father is our landlord) WORST LANDLORD EVER 😩😩😩 He’s rude, disrespectful and bossy. And every time I have to deal with him almost, no matter how good of a mood I’m in. He sucks every bit of joy out of me when he comes around, or dealing with him in any way, especially text. He sends non stop messages constantly bugging about money or this or that or trying to tell me what to do, condescending, rude you get the idea? And usually it’s because his own son won’t answer his texts, so he texts me as some sort of middle man. Apparently, a couple days after the loan, he calls his son and decides he’s just going to have me clean out the fridge and freezer in the camper behind the house he rents us, so he can’t rent it out as well. Keep in mind, I wasn’t formally asked, this was decided without me. I tell Mike , yeah I guess I can do that. But there was an electrician coming to fix the camper that week also, so I said after he gets it fixed (if he gets it fixed) I’ll go wipe down the fridge and freezer inside and sweep the floor in there. I told his father this as well. He texted me several times harassing me asking if I cleaned it yet anyway and I told him every time, I told you after the guy comes and fixes it. He hasn’t shown up yet. Eventually he shows up a week later and fixes it. Of course, by now it has slipped my mind and his father mentions he’ll be coming by Saturday to pick up “his money” as he says for rent and had I cleaned the fridge yet. So I said sorry it slipped my mind since it took the guy so long to show up I’ll go over there now and check it out. I get over there and open the fridge and immediately got sick. This fridge was FULL of maggots and mold and mildew that the previous tenant had left meat in there and then the power was shut off. So I went and told Mile that I couldn’t clean the fridge with just some bleach and a scrubber. It needs to be pulled out and put on the lawn, pressure washed, soaked in bleach,repeat etc or he might need a new fridge. It’s a mid size you usually see in campers. Anyway, I would need help pulling it out and Mile would need to hit it with the pressure washer first for me because I have a weak stomach. Then it dawned on me….how the he’ll did I even get coerced into doing this to begin with? You loan your son money and decide to make his fiancé do work for you to pay it off? And I had no idea what I was agreeing to, I would have said $70 is not enough to make me go near that fridge but I never got any money to begin with. His son did! For gas to go get HIS car! I literally get nothing out of this deal! But I’m still planning on helping. I need Mike to help me with this. He never helps me and instead works on his car. So his father starts texting him constantly talking really bad about me, saying I was lazy and I can’t do 20 min worth of work etc etc. (which is NOT true). I do all the cleaning around the house, laundry and dishes. Any cleaning done to the property is done regularly by me. Mike tells him that I had already started that it still needed to be pressure washed, which I had already poured in bleach to let it soak before I saw the text messages. Then he says I’m good for nothing etc etc and that he would just come over and clean it himself and he can just pay him back the $70. Mike has no plans on paying him back the $70. The point is the bad mouthing. And I’m so angry and upset I can’t even think straight. I’m so sick and tired of this disrespect, abuse and treatment, gaslighting. I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to finish cleaning it now because it’s not ok to talk about me that way, or treat me that way, and think he can just do that and boss me around any way he likes. I’ve had enough. At this point, what should I do or say? What would you do or say? I know I’m not an awful person and I know I don’t deserve this. To top it off Mike had a narcissist heavy last 2 days and I just feel emotionally broken. Can’t sleep. Can’t eat. Angry and upset. I would appreciate any insight or advice. I hope this was all understandable, was difficult to write or try to explain.

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