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decisiveCircle3395
358 M Embraced 3
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceOctober 29, 2017
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Am i the a**hole??
Relationship Stress / by decisiveCircle3395
Last post
 February 6th, 2023
...See more So i was living with my bf at his parents house for about 4 months until we saved up to have our own place. He’s the baby, it’s just him and his older brother who doesn’t live there but visits on the weekends. Their dad would be out of town Monday-Friday and his mother who is a house wife, no job would be there. Since my bf graduated from college(2020), it was only him and his mom in the house a majority of the time. Anyway, I went into work while he had a work from home job. I bought my toiletries, some food, and necessities like make up or just random things. His parents were very laid back and didn’t mind me staying. We rented out a 1BR in Houston that is 1500 a month. No one helps us with rent. so once we moved out, his mother offered to buy some of our furniture like a couch, comforter set, curtains, etc. mind you, this obviously isn’t her money, it’s her husbands. And i get it, his money is her money, they’re married. So when it came to the couch, she didn’t ask much for my opinion. Just his. When it came to buying paintings to hang up on the wall, she wanted him to come with her to buy paintings, and i had to go out of my way to ask my bf to send pictures of the painting since i wasnt included in this mommy-and-son-paint-buying date. No one asked for my opinion. She bought us a rug that was too small according to HIM, in the living room. I thought it was fine. She offered to buy a bigger one. 2-3 weeks later I’m under the impression that we’re getting the same rug, but bigger, according to my bf, but instead he brings a completely different rug….that she bought. this furniture buying behind my back and not asking me if i like it goes on 3 more times until i get frustrated. I get it, she went out of her way to spend her husbands money on us for our apartment but it’s all the things HE likes. I did tell him how i felt and he tells me, “it’s not your money” “your parents didn’t help” and i understand that but 5 times of not asking me if i like this piece of furniture before your mom buys it doesn’t cross yalls mind??? This is OUR apartment. I don’t want things in the apartment that only you like and no one is considering what i like? Does that make me ungrateful? For wanting the rug and comforter set sent back? Even when i didn’t ask for the furniture? They just impulse bought and mad because i didn’t like it or agree on it….even when i never asked for help on buying furniture. im really upset because i checked his phone and saw his mother talking sh*t about me, calling me a *** and stating that my parents haven’t helped. Like i previously mentioned, i don’t need a rug that bad, i don’t need paintings that bad, i don’t need curtains that bad. As long as i have food and a bed, I’m good. All the fancy stuff comes later. I don’t like relying on ANYONE because ppl like to hold it over your head. Anyways, i check his phone, she calls me a ***, she says “i hope she has $400 dollars to buy another rug”, she says “well are her parents gonna buy her some furniture for the apartment?”. was it that deep for you to call me a ***? Talk about my parents? All you had to do was include me. Even though i still don’t care for material things, it is MY apartment. And we’re paying rent, if my name is on that lease, i don’t want to walk into my place looking at some random ugly a** rug that i never wanted. my bf is a mommas boy, spoiled, and like i said, the youngest who has been under his moms wing and takes all of her advice and doesn’t think for himself at times. at the age of 25. No shade at all but i told him she wasn’t being all that considerate especially since she’s not the renter of the apartment i come to at the end of my day. I feel like I’m renting out her space. I feel like we’re in a throuple and not a couple. I feel like he cares about what his mom has to say and think over what i have to say or think. but AITAH???
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