depressedorgirlproblems Member Profile

...See more Today, I have been feeling awful. This morning I was feeling a little spacey, slow, really easily aggravated, but i thought nothing really of it because I feel like that all the time but as the day went on, it got worse and worse and got to the point where I couldn’t do the things I needed to do today anymore. I found myself balled up on the floor rocking back and forth like some kind of baby or psychotic person. I’ve seen movies where do that because they went through something horrible and had trauma but nothing was actually, physically wrong in my life so I felt guilty for feeling bad and I felt like if I told someone what I was thinking they would be annoyed with me and mad at me when all I really needed from them was comfort. So I unconsciously decided not to tell anyone so they wouldn’t hate me. I’ve cried about 4 times today but quickly wiped tears every time because I don’t know what’s wrong with me but even when I feel terrible, my mind won’t shut off on thinking about other things so I would quickly wipe my tears so I would still look nice and would mess up my makeup. My mind won’t stop making me feel bad for my feelings and I don’t know how to stop it. It won’t allow me to just be sad and emotional without making me think about how could I feel bad- how dare i feel sad and depressed today when nothing happened actually, physically bad to make me feel this way. Don’t you know other people have it so much worse? What do you have to be sad for?! Don’t be a wuss Bella. Jeez. And I can’t tell anyone else because i think thats what they’ll say and I can’t handle the people I love actually saying what I say to myself. I would brake down further and I can’t handle that right now.

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