Depressed? I don’t think so? Help please
Today, I have been feeling awful. This morning I was feeling a little spacey, slow, really easily aggravated, but i thought nothing really of it because I feel like that all the time but as the day went on, it got worse and worse and got to the point where I couldn’t do the things I needed to do today anymore. I found myself balled up on the floor rocking back and forth like some kind of baby or psychotic person. I’ve seen movies where do that because they went through something horrible and had trauma but nothing was actually, physically wrong in my life so I felt guilty for feeling bad and I felt like if I told someone what I was thinking they would be annoyed with me and mad at me when all I really needed from them was comfort. So I unconsciously decided not to tell anyone so they wouldn’t hate me. I’ve cried about 4 times today but quickly wiped tears every time because I don’t know what’s wrong with me but even when I feel terrible, my mind won’t shut off on thinking about other things so I would quickly wipe my tears so I would still look nice and would mess up my makeup. My mind won’t stop making me feel bad for my feelings and I don’t know how to stop it. It won’t allow me to just be sad and emotional without making me think about how could I feel bad- how dare i feel sad and depressed today when nothing happened actually, physically bad to make me feel this way. Don’t you know other people have it so much worse? What do you have to be sad for?! Don’t be a wuss Bella. Jeez. And I can’t tell anyone else because i think thats what they’ll say and I can’t handle the people I love actually saying what I say to myself. I would brake down further and I can’t handle that right now.
@depressedorgirlproblems
Hey Girl,
I understand where you are coming from. Feeling depressed and being able to tell anyone because you think they're going to tell you that people have it so much worse. Your feelings and emotions are valid. I understand having a mental breakdown for no reason. Bottling up your emotions only makes it worse. I'm sorry you cried 4 times. I know it must not have been easy. Depression can come out of nowhere. Just because you think something bad needs to happen for you to be depressed isn't true. Depression can just come out of the blue. I would say let all your emotions out. Don't bottle them. I know what's it's like to keep them in and it will only cause more breakdowns and problems. Trusting your family is hard because you think they will reject and invalidate you. They're there to help you feel better and support you. Don't be scared to talk to them although I know how anxiety invoking that is. It won't be easy to talk to them but in the end you'll feel better. If this keeps happening I would suggest reaching out to a mental health professional and possibly therapy. Also coping skills can help you if you're willing to try them. There are many out there but I would specifically recommend journaling to release your thoughts. Do things that make you happy and keep you distracted. It may take a while for it work but it eventually will. If you ever want to talk I'm here willing to listen to you as well as thousands of other listeners are. We care you and your well being and want you to feel better. I hope this message helped and didn't make you feel worse. I wish you only the best. I hope you have a good day/ night! Take care of your mental health and stay safe.
- kindcherry2