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destmar1
444 M Embraced 3
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts41 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceJuly 10, 2021
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relationship advice pls
Relationship Stress / by destmar1
Last post
 October 12th, 2021
...See more I would like to say a couple of things before I explain what happened. I am 20 years old, I was pretty much sheltered my entire life. I’ve never really had a real relationship until January of this year. I knew him since October of last year though. He’s way older than me. He is 30. Which at first, I never saw an issue but I’m kind of starting to see one…. I have no friends to talk to, I don’t really have anyone to talk to at all. So issues throughout our relationship, I can’t tell if I’m insane or if these things aren’t okay. mainly because it’s my first relationship and I was sheltered growing up. There has been many issues but I’m going to share what happened recently. I’m writing this on a Monday, and I took edible$ with my boyfriend on Saturday. I don’t ever $moke or do drug$. I $moked a couple of times throughout high school but I haven’t in years. And we wanted to try it so we did. We were watching a movie when it started to hit. I was aware one minute and then completely unaware the next. I was dizzy. I was in and out of it. Like one minute, I saw around me, I could hear, I was aware. And then a couple minutes go by and I’m aware again, but like the time in between that was a complete blur, as if I fell asleep. I was extremely h!gh. We were watching the movie and then started to kiss. And then I started watching the movie again. The next thing I know he’s taking off my shorts… I was zoned out so I’m just laying there and then I can feel his (you know) in me and I tell him no and he takes it out. I watch the movie again, and this happens again. I zone out and then I feel it in me and I tell him no twice and he takes it out. I don’t remember going to bed, I don’t remember what happened at all before I fell asleep. The whole night was a blur. The next day (Sunday) and today (Monday) I felt so weird. So off. I texted him and said I don’t feel okay, I hate how I don’t remember hardly anything from that night. He texted me a couple of things but one of them being he said I was riding him that night. Which I don’t remember LITERALLY at all. Like some things I have little memory of, but that. I have absolutely no memory of. I texted him and said I didn’t want to have sex with him for a little while, i just don’t feel like myself and he said, “I guess” I told him that was kind of a rude response to what I said and he said I am controlling him and the way he talks. Am I crazy or is he manipulating me? Is it just me or is that a rude response…. And sometimes I’ll be at his house and I will tell him I don’t want to do anything and he sucks his teeth….. he said there’s nothing wrong with that and it’s just a habit. There’s so many things that has happened throughout our relationship but this is the most recent. I don’t know if I’m insane or if he’s right. Advice would be so much appreciated.
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advice pls ):
Relationship Stress / by destmar1
Last post
 July 18th, 2021
...See more Hi. I’m new to 7 cups and it’s been great so far. I’ve been having relationships issues so i thought i’d create a thread here. My boyfriend and I met in October of 2020, but we didn’t start dating until roughly middle of Jan, February. He was a very nice person in the beginning, and still is sometimes. but things are just different. he would try so hard in the beginning and doesn’t at all anymore!! it makes me feel like he created that “personality” just so i would date him and this is who he truly is now. There has been countless of times where he calls me toxic, tells me i’m gaslighting him, or i’m controlling and i don’t see how and it upsets me and makes me think i’m crazy and makes me question if i really am being toxic. i will share something that happened so you guys can get get a point of view. One time, he asked me to come over and it was really late and i was already in bed and i said “it is literally 10pm” (it was like 9:50 but i was just rounding up the time) and he responded “it’s like you’re gaslighting me it isn’t 10pm” and it’s upsetting he is using those words when gaslighting is a serious thing. and it just doesn’t seem like i was doing that. A couple days ago i was at work and he texted me saying he was at walmart and i responded, almost 3 hrs go by and he said “home from walmart” and i made a funny comment saying, “didn’t know it took 3 hrs to go to walmart” and he said “you’re timing how long i shop for? that’s controlling” but i didn’t mean to make it seem like that. i wasn’t timing him, i just looked at our last message and it said the time. there’s a lot of times where he will call me names and i don’t see how i’m so toxic and whatever. I communicate things that bother me and he doesn’t seem to care. I communicated with him i really appreciate the little things, like “goodmorning” and “good nights” and “i love you” and NOT “love you” and he doesn’t seem to care about those. He told me i was controlling the way he acts and speaks. I have nobody to talk about this stuff with, literally no one. So i could use some advice. He is really mean when he is mad and I tell him i don’t like that and it never changes. the last time we got in an argument, he told me “you’re not smart enough to have this discussion” I would write more but i have already wrote a lot lol. I am 20 and he is 30….. at first i never saw an issue with the age gap, but now i see stuff online and it makes me question, and sometimes he just talks however to me and idk if he thinks he can because he’s older or what… he is a nice person, but after all these issues that have gone on in our relationship, it makes me wonder if this is acceptable or not.
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