relationship advice pls

I would like to say a couple of things before I explain what happened. I am 20 years old, I was pretty much sheltered my entire life. I’ve never really had a real relationship until January of this year. I knew him since October of last year though. He’s way older than me. He is 30. Which at first, I never saw an issue but I’m kind of starting to see one…. I have no friends to talk to, I don’t really have anyone to talk to at all. So issues throughout our relationship, I can’t tell if I’m insane or if these things aren’t okay. mainly because it’s my first relationship and I was sheltered growing up. There has been many issues but I’m going to share what happened recently. I’m writing this on a Monday, and I took edible$ with my boyfriend on Saturday. I don’t ever $moke or do drug$. I $moked a couple of times throughout high school but I haven’t in years. And we wanted to try it so we did. We were watching a movie when it started to hit. I was aware one minute and then completely unaware the next. I was dizzy. I was in and out of it. Like one minute, I saw around me, I could hear, I was aware. And then a couple minutes go by and I’m aware again, but like the time in between that was a complete blur, as if I fell asleep. I was extremely h!gh. We were watching the movie and then started to kiss. And then I started watching the movie again. The next thing I know he’s taking off my shorts… I was zoned out so I’m just laying there and then I can feel his (you know) in me and I tell him no and he takes it out. I watch the movie again, and this happens again. I zone out and then I feel it in me and I tell him no twice and he takes it out. I don’t remember going to bed, I don’t remember what happened at all before I fell asleep. The whole night was a blur. The next day (Sunday) and today (Monday) I felt so weird. So off. I texted him and said I don’t feel okay, I hate how I don’t remember hardly anything from that night. He texted me a couple of things but one of them being he said I was riding him that night. Which I don’t remember LITERALLY at all. Like some things I have little memory of, but that. I have absolutely no memory of. I texted him and said I didn’t want to have sex with him for a little while, i just don’t feel like myself and he said, “I guess” I told him that was kind of a rude response to what I said and he said I am controlling him and the way he talks. Am I crazy or is he manipulating me? Is it just me or is that a rude response…. And sometimes I’ll be at his house and I will tell him I don’t want to do anything and he sucks his teeth….. he said there’s nothing wrong with that and it’s just a habit. There’s so many things that has happened throughout our relationship but this is the most recent. I don’t know if I’m insane or if he’s right. Advice would be so much appreciated.