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determinedFan6286
575 M Embraced 4
PathStep 23 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2023 Member sinceAugust 12, 2018
Bio

I am 20 years old, I live on my own. I see family once a week. I sleep all day. I go to job provider appointments. Have been looking for work for over 5 years and I still am and I hate it. I have a cat, I look after other peoples pets. I am in a relationship. I never go out, I have no friends. I eat, sleep and repeat 24/7 and it is boring.

Recent forum posts
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Feeling Stuck or confused
Relationship Stress / by determinedFan6286
Last post
 March 22nd, 2021
...See more Hi, Thank you for taking to the time to read this. I have been in an on and off relationship for 4 yrs now, he has broken up with me at least 4 times. He lives an hour away, works so hard, does sport and studies so he doesn't have much time to see me. He sees me maybe once a week or maybe once every 2 weeks. He says he has no money but he isn't spending it on me, plus he has two cars. He never responds to my texts. I am afraid that he is cheating on me, afraid that he is going to break up with me again. He wants me to get fat for him. He is the first guy that I have every been in a relationship with and the first guy that I have ever been in love with. I do not know what to do because when I think about breaking up with him but it hurts me and makes me cry. He says that he loves me but I dont know if he does. I have tried telling him how I feel through writing a letter that I gave to him in person and he read it and brushed what I had said off and just said that he loved me and cuddled me. Sometimes when he isn't here I spend some nights crying. I have not met any of his friends, been to his work. He doesn't invite me over to his and he doesn't come to my families for dinner. I don't know if I am wasting so many years of my life if he doesn't see a future with me because I see a future with him. We have talked about kids but that is as far as the conversation goes. When he comes over he just stays the night and leaves in the morning. When he does come over it does make my day and week better. With the money situation, I wanna help but I can't because I don't have much money and also the fact that I don't have a job. He doesn't want to move in with me. I just never know what is going through his mind. I try and ask him but he just brushes it off but always wants to know how I am feeling and what is going trough my head. I have dreams and think about different scenarios about how to tell him how I feel and am always afraid of his reaction. I really need help or advice on what I should do. I just feel like I am stuck but at the same time, I really do love him.
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