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determinedWater5341
1 103 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2025 Member sinceSeptember 8, 2025
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Feeling Heavy
Depression Support / by determinedWater5341
Last post
 December 6th, 2025
...See more This year has been an absolute mess for me. I’ve had depression before and it’s been a constant issue throughout my life. But I think this might be the first time depression has hit me in adulthood in this way. This year my friend group had a falling out with one friend possibly breaking ties, issues in my family continue to grow, I’ve come to realizations in my personal life that feel like I’ve failed, and my dog nearly died this year due to health issues and it was a heavy emotional/financial burden on me. I’m constantly feeling more like a burden rather than a helper to my friends. I self insert myself when not needed and I’m more of an annoyance than a helper. My relationship with my brother and parents is strained but I do nothing to improve it because I self isolate so much that I can’t even fathom being social in any sort of way. I feel like I’m dealing with emotional burnout that was self imposed. I didn’t need to be put in this position and yet here I am. I feel like I’m on a raft in the ocean. The waves keep hitting me. Some of them are small but a lot of them are strong. And I’m just floating. Doing nothing to stop the waves from hitting me. Not calling for help or trying to save myself. One of these days I’m not gonna be able to handle a wave and I’m going to flip. I feel like a terrible friend. A terrible brother. A terrible person to myself. I can’t do anything by right.
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