diamondbread Member Profile

...See more I'm sorry, I know this problem of mine is insignificant compared to others, but it's been plaguing me for a while now, and I just really need to know what other people think. I can't tell anyone in real life, so I'm putting it here. Thank you in advance! For context, I'm in high school, 11th grade, and I live in China. Oh, and my friends don't know that I like him. I haven't told them yet. I'll just write out the whole story and apologies in advance if it gets too long. So, we met last year September, when we started high school. We're in the same class, but I never really acknowledged his presence (probably because I hardly talk to boys and he during that first term he didn't really talk to girls either) until this year March, when our teacher assigned us as desk mates. We're both moderately shy people, so the first few weeks we didn't really talk much. Some stand-out moments were how he would write my temperature for me (we had to fill out a temperature sheet because of COVID every night) although that might be because he's just really nice? I used to give him peanuts to eat because my mom would force me to bring so much and one day, he gave me half an orange in return. He used to tease me sometimes because of a math problem I took too long to figure out, etc, but not in a mean way, per se. Anyways, my feelings for him started in the middle of May, I think. Before I started liking him, my friends and his friends had already started teasing us about each other, actually. They'd write [his irl name] loves [my irl name] on the blackboard and not going to lie, it was a little annoying? But also a little gratifying, because . . . y'know. Our grade went on this one-week school trip and on the bus ride there, my friend group was playing truth and dare, and I guess his friend group started playing it too because after we got off he went over to me and said "[irl name], I think you're really talented." It was also on that trip that he asked me about a certain thing that not many people know about me - he probably would have had to go around asking about me. When we got back from the trip, there was this musical thing that I was participating in, and he was in a speech competition. Those two activities happened to be on the same day, at the same time, so neither of us could go to each other's, but he later asked me if there were any videos, and when I said yes, said that he would check them out. On the last day of the term, he asked me when my birthday was (we were talking about birthdays and ages though, so it wasn't that big), and well, summer break started. Because of COVID, I had to start school a week later than it started, and when I went back, he was like "you had a long vacation." Sadly, after summer, we definitely weren't as close as before - actually, we didn't really talk that much, and he talked to this girl that sat behind him a lot, though mostly to ask about homework problems. That was when I started doubting if he liked me or not - I mean, I wasn't sure before, but that time I had like zero hope that he liked me. The funny thing was though, even though we didn't talk a ton, by the time I transferred away from the school (last month), we were so familiar with each other's presence that he could borrow my eraser without asking if it was on my desk. Like I said before, about a month ago, I transferred away from that school. I didn't tell him at first, so he heard about it from his friends, who I think heard it from my friends. He seemed sad about it, I think - at least, he was going all "I won't have a deskmate next week!" "This is my last class with a desk mate. . ." And in the afternoon, when I was going to leave and was stressing out about the heaps of stuff I had to bring with me, he said to me "see, this is why you should come again on Monday!" I told him that for Christmas break (because my new school had Christmas break whereas my old one didn't) I would maybe visit them, and he said "I'll remember that." Since I left, I've been back two times to pick up stuff and see friends. The first time, I actually went into the classroom, and then my friends starting calling his name and his friends were pushing him to go talk with me. We exchanged awkward hellos, but I was mostly talking with my friends. Before I left, I had given him this whole stack of scratch paper that I didn't want to take home with me, and apparently in the stack there was a sheet that I had already used and he returned it to me that day. Personally, I thought it was an excuse to talk to me, but I'm probably reading too much into it. The second time, I was just standing outside of the school, and he was walking with his whole group of friends. His friends immediately started shoving him in my direction and he actually walked up to me twice, but we didn't really talk, just smiled at each other a little? Yesterday and today, we took a test together. My friends also took it, and at the same place too, so it was pretty cool as I got to see all of them. Yesterday, after the first test, there was a break when we had to go outside, and then when we were heading back in again, he called my name. He was walking behind me, so I hadn't seen him at first, but, well, he called my name, I turned back and said hi. I asked him where his classroom was and told him mine, and then the conversation was over. We met again after the second test, when everyone was heading to lunch. I was waiting in the lobby for my friends, when I saw him in the crowd, walking out of the door. He saw me too, and immediately headed towards me. We smiled at each other again, and because I had heard my friend say that they had changed seats again, said "I hear you have a new deskmate!" He grimaced a little and said, "yeah, [his new deskmate] is pretty annoying." Was he implying that I was a better deskmate?? After the last test, we all went out, and I borrowed a friend's phone to call my mom. It was cold, so I spun a circle - and saw him looking at me from like ten meters away. At least, he was looking in my direction, and I feel like he was staring at me. Today, we only saw once, after all the tests had ended. I was on the steps, waiting for my friends again. He saw me and went up to me, asked me who I was waiting for. We talked a little, but then one of my friends came out and immediately backed away when she saw that I was with him. I just rolled my eyes at her and moved towards her, because she was one of the ones I was waiting for, but she pushed me back and said something along the lines of "go talk to him!!" At that moment, one of his friends came out and kinda shoved him into my direction but we just said bye and didn't talk anymore. So yeah, sorry for this really long post. Do you guys think he likes me, or no?

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