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diligentDrum7773
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceNovember 14, 2024
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Should I expect my partner to defend me?
Relationship Stress / by diligentDrum7773
Last post
 March 11th, 2025
...See more So a while ago we were at my partner's sister and her husbands house we had a bit of a spat, he always shouts over the top of me when I talk or answer a question, so one time I snapped back and had a go at him.  Anyway the time we saw them after this. My partner's mum just mentioned about something she thought I was interested in as a career. Then he hit back and said that's easy and barely a career choice and I just said yes it is... He then started at me saying my previous jobs are hardly a career and not proper jobs. The joke of it is that his wife used to want to do what her mum mentioned. She said hey I wanted to do that. He laughed at her and said yeah but you didn't do it tho did you babe. Even though my partner had done the same, which I reminded him of. He then said she doesn't do it anymore and I said neither do I. Then he mocked me because my current employer was potentially sending me on an engineering course. He said that's a joke you're nearly 30 and doing a course like a 16 year old.  (I take it that he's jealous because he can't read or write) I was mostly in shock that he would be that rude.  Also throughout the whole thing all my partner said was "well she's not doing that anymore anyway" he responded like SEE. He was chuffed that my partner hadn't defended me, though he didn't understand that she was trying to take the middle ground and diffuse things.  Should I expect her to defend me more than that? 
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Problems with partners family
Relationship Stress / by diligentDrum7773
Last post
 January 11th, 2025
...See more My partner is very close to her family. Her father passed away early last year and I am just trying to be supportive. With her father gone we have spent a lot more time with her sister and her partner.  This is now causing me some stress because of comments her sister but mainly her partner has said towards me and is overall rude. He is a moaner so my partner said she doesn't really listen to him.  One time he was complaining and he basically took the man's side in some abuse case that was on the news and I said funny how you take his side yet you have no idea what's gone on. He went mad and was shouting at me. He shouted to my partner's sister "SARAH IF THIS HAPPENED TO YOU WOULD YOU TELL THEM TO STOP YES OR NO?" She just said yes and he carried on shouting basically an I told you so situation and he was so aggressive towards me in the way he spoke. I am absolutely shocked still that everyone in the room just sat there and let him speak to me like that. My partner, her mum and her sister...  When he was shouting I didn't know what to do, so I tried to discreetly poke my partner but she just turned and looked at me and smiled like why you poking me. I just felt humiliated. I wanted to get up and walk out but I feel I can't at their house because they have dogs (they haven't trained them properly) they go mad if you get up especially towards the door, plus our shoes are put in the cupboard (because of the dogs) so walking out would be a long process. I feel trapped there sometimes.  I have spoken to my partner but she said like before that she doesn't really listen to what he's saying because he moans all the time but I can't get over the way he spoke to me and no one doing anything at all. I can't seem to stop going over it in my head and thinking how could my partner not see how horrible he was. This is really bothering me because I love her more than anything but I just can't understand why she didn't react. I keep going over this situation and other times her family have been rude towards me and I'm struggling to let it go because I always bite my tongue. The situation I've described has been the worst time something like this has happened and I can't stop going over it in my head. I've had trouble sleeping over it too, I feel like I'm going mad. 
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Relationship Family Issues
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by diligentDrum7773
Last post
 January 22nd, 2025
...See more My partner is very close to her family. Her father passed away early last year and I am just trying to be supportive. With her father gone we have spent a lot more time with her sister and her partner.  This is now causing me some stress because of comments her sister but mainly her partner has said towards me and is overall rude. He is a moaner so often my partner doesn't really listen to him.  One time he basically took the man's side in some abuse case that was on the news and I said funny how you take his side yet you have no idea what's gone on. He went mad and was shouting at me. He shouted to my partner's sister "SARAH IF THIS HAPPENED TO YOU WOULD YOU TELL THEM TO STOP YES OR NO?" She just said yes and he carried on shouting basically an I told you so situation and he was so aggressive towards me in the way he spoke. I am absolutely shocked still that everyone in the room just sat there and let him speak toe like that. My partner, her mum and her sister...  I have spoken to my partner but she said like before that she doesn't really listen to what he's saying because he moans but I can't get over the way he spoke to me and no one doing anything 
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Scared for my partners parents to meet my own
Relationship Stress / by diligentDrum7773
Last post
 November 27th, 2024
...See more I'm scared for my partners parents to meet my own. This is because her parents seem rather judgemental. For example: my partner had mentioned about my grandparents going on a couple of cruises in the past and they made the quick assumption that they must have got their money from somewhere other than working hard for it! Same with stories about my parents. They think that because we had been on a few small holidays as kids, that my parents must be loaded. Yet in reality the only difference is that both of my parents worked, where as her mother was a stay at home mum. Also, they forget that they lived with certain things I would call a luxury. It just depends on what you want in life. They make quick judgements on people's financial situation based on snippets of information. It stresses me to how my parents and hers would interact with eachother because I think my own parents would struggle to see that it's just how they are and would be offended/find it very rude. Especially as my dad can go on about things sometimes which makes it sound like he's bragging.  It worries me how the situation would go 
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Far right family issues
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by diligentDrum7773
Last post
 November 17th, 2024
...See more My partner's sister and her fiancé have recently shown support for a very far right figure. Some of the things they pointed out were extremely selfish. Not only that I don't know how she can do that to her own sister when the figure is anti gay. After hearing they support him, it's like there's no coming back from that. I now see them in a different light. Would anyone else feel the same in this situation? 
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