diligentWater5720 Member Profile

...See more Me and my ex broke up few months ago and we were in probably around 1 year of relationship. In that one year, we made so many memories, video calls, texting everyday and fell in love with each other. But he was an avoidant and never really communicated properly when it came to arguments or even emotional maturity. I know that I want to move on and I definitely see change in that compared to like first month of breakup but I always keep bringing myself back into thinking about him, and keep on reimagining scheneiojs with him like a time when wed remever again somehow even tho ought it seems impossible considering we’re in different universities and live way farther away from each other. I also know I wanna meet new people but it also doesn’t feel fair knowing thoughts about my ex keep coming back to me. I feel so conflicted a lot of the times because I gave in so much into that relationship, only to realize he always only thought about himself and be selfish and so I ended up getting hurt a lot too but I also can’t seem to dislike the idea of being with him. I keep holding onto some strand thinking he’d come back one day but he never checked on me despite knowing how broken I was and other aspects of my life brought me down too during that time. It hurt to know that he took the breakup more seriously than the actual relationship and despite coming to a lot of reflection and realizations about this, I still let him enter my thoughts pretty much every single day. I truly just want to move on and stop thinking about him. I hate how I end up loving people so deeply and can’t easily just let go off this because at the end of the day, i am the one who gets hurt the most. I wish it was just as easy for me to get rid of him like how he became pretty much a stranger to me once we broke up. It felt like talking to a different person and I also hate myself for trying to be with him till the end hoping he’d fight for me and want me just as much as I wanted him. He said I was too good for me and I deserved better yet he never tried to his best for me and made me feel like I wasn’t enough. I still sometimes think and regret that maybe I should’ve done some things differently. It was all just a lie, kept giving me false hope. I keep thinking that maybe I was used and I hate myself for it. It was my first relationship but on positive note, I’ll know better next time. For now, I just wanna get rid of him from my thoughts so I can finally feel like the best version of myself.

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