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diplomaticClementine1851
2 12,182 M Pacing Forward 7
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts248 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes25 Current upvotes25 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceMarch 8, 2024
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How do I tell my boss that I need more help doing normal tasks at work?
General Support / by diplomaticClementine1851
Last post
 September 3rd
...See more I cannot stop crying right now and I genuinely need assistance with this problem I have. I’m sorry for the huge novel you’re about to read, but please understand. A few things to note: I’m 25 years old and have ADHD, specifically the inattentive kind, but I also have severe depression and anxiety. I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was a teenager and I am rarely able to afford it. I don’t have a proper support system in my life; I don’t like venting to my friends, my parents undermine and shrug off my problems, even though I have spending my whole time trying to get a shred of validation from them. I started working as a secretary at a doctor’s office fairly recently. Everybody there is friendly with me and assures me that I’m doing a good job, but I feel that the people I work the closest to me are frustrated by me. There are two other secretaries who work with me; Gina and Tina (obviously not their real names). Gina is the one I switch with, but she mostly complains about the patients and doesn’t really do her job very well. Tina is a good teacher, but I am never working the same days she is, depriving me of a proper training session. Gina took a leave of absence, so Tina and I have been working together. Tina pointed out a lot of big mistakes I made and I started to cry. Not bawling, but tears in eyes. She was really thrown off and thought she was being mean to me. But I kept assuring her that she did nothing wrong but that I feel afraid of being fired. She told me that I should feel happy to work there because they chose me, but I feel that they will get rid of me as quickly as they chose me. My ADHD means that I cannot be thrown off when in the middle of a task or else I will be distracted. For example, if I am billing to someone’s insurance (Task A) and then the debit machine goes down and needs rebooting (task B) and the phone rings (Task C), they need to be done one at a time or else I will get really stressed. Mind you, I’m not saying that I cannot do these things; I have gotten better with multi-tasking, but I end up pretty wiped out or stressed. I’m just not used to doing so much at once, especially when everyone has an expectation that I need to do things. I need to write down every single thing I am doing or else I will not remember to do it. Alternatively, I need it when explaining things to coworkers as well because sometimes I don’t know what I need to tell them until it’s too late. And before you guys post that maybe this job is not for me, I cannot mentally handle that. I love this job, I am good at this job, I can literally do this job like everyone else, but it is doing all these tasks at once, some of which haven’t even been taught to me before, that is making it difficult. I know how to talk on the phone, how to send emails, how to check in on patients’ files, etc. all of that is good, it’s managing multiple tasks at once that is difficult. It causes me to move very slow and end my shift way past when I am supposed to be gone. As with any jobs here, I begin on a three month probation to see if they want to keep me around. I was rushed into being hired as they were in desperate need of a secretary. I don’t know how to tell my boss (who I think has ADHD himself based on his tendency to forget everything I ask him and being a pretty disorganized guy) that one month into probation, I am still struggling with the job. I’ve been there since August 7th, coming in maybe three times a week to work. I didn’t tell them upfront that I had ADHD, even though they told me they were incredibly accommodating toward my other medical problems. I am not sure why I didn’t communicate this. Growing up, I have always minimized how much my ADHD affected my ability to do certain, laborious tasks because I was invalidated throughout my life and made to believe that I was “being lazy” by my parents. I never knew what was me being lazy versus having a legitimate disorder. I was hired and told I would be doing paid training, but I have been sat at the desk on my own with maybe like one or two quick lessons on the basics and expected to learn on my own with some instructions about how to do some stuff. But there are things I haven’t been taught to do and I end up having to bother my boss (who is the doctor) and my coworkers outside of the clock to understand things. I’ve always struggled with keeping things organized from a very young age. The electronic medical software we use is new to me and while I study and listen to the instructions of my coworkers. sometimes find that it takes me a while to do tasks like booking appointments for patients or getting the closing tasks done. I can tell that my coworkers and my boss are starting to get a bit annoyed with me. I am a month into my probation and I do not believe I will stay. Sometimes, patients make jokes about me not knowing things. Everyone tells me that I am doing okay, but I find that I forget how to do things like how to use the copy machine or how to price something, etc. and I need to be rescued by my coworkers. This is not the first time I’ve been let go from a job because I couldn’t meet the tasks fast enough. I don’t know what I should do. I can’t tell them now; they’ll be so mad. I don’t know how to have that conversation. I cannot afford to lose this job and I am horrified at the idea of losing it and having to explain to all the unsupportive, *** people in my life that I failed. I keep not understanding things and being scared to ask for help because I don’t want them to be mad that I don’t understand. Today, I left the office in tears bawling my eyes out in the elevator. I was given attitude today by a woman because I was trying to enforce our policy with credit cards and she kept refusing to give it to me despite me literally explaining it to her 5 times and then she got me in trouble with my boss. Then a man interrupted me while I was on the line with customer service for an insurance claim I had to reverse for my co-worker because ThE rOoM iS diRTy FiX iT iDIOT. Then I get a text message (it was cordial, I don’t think my boss was mean) from my boss saying that he basically wasn’t happy I had been staying late finishing up tasks that should’ve been done a while before my shift ends and that I need to leave when my shift ends. He said that if I am struggling with closing, that we can go through it together, but I’m scared of explaining this problem to him. For starters, I don’t think he will be accommodating. I have had bosses in the past show support for me, but only having a very vague understanding of the disability and not actually doing anything. I am afraid he will either tell me that this job is not for me anymore or he will forget to accommodate me or he will be upset that I didn’t tell him before. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here; I don’t want to be fired. Am I overreacting? Am I assuming things after a month in? How can I start that conversation with him? I can do this job, I can. It’s just that I don’t know what to do right now. I have sent off a message to my boss, requesting that we have a talk about my job performance. But with how upset I am right now, I am afraid that I will just bawl my eyes out the whole time and he will not like this. Please help me.
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I feel so scared right now
General Support / by diplomaticClementine1851
Last post
 July 31st
...See more Some backstory: I’ve always been afraid of my mother. She’s emotionally abusive and I’ve always felt scared to tell her when I’ve messed up or if I’ve made a big mistake as I would get a pretty big earful from her after. Even though they’re just words and relationships between a mom and daughter will mend eventually, getting in trouble from her has become a very terrifying scenario for me. It’s pathetic as a 25 year old who still lives at home to have such a fear. My parents are divorced and I’ve always found my father to be the “safer” parent to talk to about my problems. Last week, I noticed that pieces of tooth enamel came out of my mouth while brushing my teeth. I have cosmetic veneers and thought this was that. It wasn’t. It was a front tooth that had decayed and now pieces had cracked off. I can’t afford the dentist on my own; it’s been years since I’ve gone and my mom would’ve been upset if she found out how many cavities I had. I had many. I messaged my dad and asked for help because I knew that a non-veneer tooth breaking was serious business. He said that he would pay for the dentist and told me to go to his. Yesterday, I went to his dentist. The first thing the dentist said after looking at my x-rays was “this is bad.” I was informed that I had decay in my teeth. He told me that it was fixable if we treated this in the next few months, but that I definitely couldn’t wait a year to get this fixed. The dentist understood that I was upset and assured me everything was going to be alright. That he’ll prepare a treatment plan for me, that we can get fillings done, etc. I have three cavities he’s noticed, but I’m not sure if he’s including the front tooth as well. I don’t want my mom to find out about any of this. All of this is being done under the table. I’m horrified at the idea of my dentist saying on a second glance at my tooth that it’ll need to come out, I’m horrified at the idea of having to lose any teeth, I’m horrified at the idea of him having to remove my veneers to fix everything. I can’t leave my appointment with teeth missing or veneers missing. If my mom found out, I would be devastated and so would she. I know it’s unfair to keep a secret like that from my mom, but it is not something I can mentally do right now. The dentist never brought up any kind of insinuation that pulling the tooth out is an option. He took x-rays, he looked at my mouth, but the appointment to do was also only ten-fifteen minutes in length. I am terrified. I don’t know how posting about it here will help, but I need someone to talk to.
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Looking for a friend
20 & Over / by diplomaticClementine1851
Last post
 April 6th, 2024
...See more Hi, I’m 23 years old, Canadian. I’m on here for a few personal issues, but one of my biggest problems is that I don’t have a lot of friends. I have friends, but they’re always busy and they never have time to hang out. It’s not that they avoid me, it’s just a series of unfortunate circumstances that lead us to not be able to hang. I’m not very good at making friends either and keeping the friendship strong. I don’t really go out, mainly just to school or out with my boyfriend. I like to draw and I like cartoons. My favourite cartoons are Jimmy Neutron and Fairly Odd Parents. I guess if you want to chat, you can. I’m looking for more friends.
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