I feel so scared right now

Some backstory: I’ve always been afraid of my mother. She’s emotionally abusive and I’ve always felt scared to tell her when I’ve messed up or if I’ve made a big mistake as I would get a pretty big earful from her after. Even though they’re just words and relationships between a mom and daughter will mend eventually, getting in trouble from her has become a very terrifying scenario for me. It’s pathetic as a 25 year old who still lives at home to have such a fear. My parents are divorced and I’ve always found my father to be the “safer” parent to talk to about my problems.

Last week, I noticed that pieces of tooth enamel came out of my mouth while brushing my teeth. I have cosmetic veneers and thought this was that. It wasn’t. It was a front tooth that had decayed and now pieces had cracked off. I can’t afford the dentist on my own; it’s been years since I’ve gone and my mom would’ve been upset if she found out how many cavities I had. I had many. I messaged my dad and asked for help because I knew that a non-veneer tooth breaking was serious business. He said that he would pay for the dentist and told me to go to his.

Yesterday, I went to his dentist. The first thing the dentist said after looking at my x-rays was “this is bad.” I was informed that I had decay in my teeth. He told me that it was fixable if we treated this in the next few months, but that I definitely couldn’t wait a year to get this fixed. The dentist understood that I was upset and assured me everything was going to be alright. That he’ll prepare a treatment plan for me, that we can get fillings done, etc. I have three cavities he’s noticed, but I’m not sure if he’s including the front tooth as well.

I don’t want my mom to find out about any of this. All of this is being done under the table. I’m horrified at the idea of my dentist saying on a second glance at my tooth that it’ll need to come out, I’m horrified at the idea of having to lose any teeth, I’m horrified at the idea of him having to remove my veneers to fix everything. I can’t leave my appointment with teeth missing or veneers missing. If my mom found out, I would be devastated and so would she. I know it’s unfair to keep a secret like that from my mom, but it is not something I can mentally do right now.

The dentist never brought up any kind of insinuation that pulling the tooth out is an option. He took x-rays, he looked at my mouth, but the appointment to do was also only ten-fifteen minutes in length. I am terrified. I don’t know how posting about it here will help, but I need someone to talk to.