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dipsetnotion
77 M Embraced
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2022 Member sinceFebruary 15, 2022
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All That's Been Lost
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by dipsetnotion
Last post
 March 31st, 2022
...See more I've lost everything. I used to use to feel good. I never thought when I went to rehab ten years ago I'd still be a slave to addiction. I'm only 32 but it feels like if I don't stop now, I'll miss the chance to truly be happy in this lifetime. To offset the symptoms of PTSD and the anxiety that comes with it, I end up using at some point. Uppers, downers, at some point I've been addicted to it all. I have no family. My mom died, dad and brother disowned me when I came out, grandparents all dead. My fiance left me two months ago and life has since been a downward spiral. I lost my car, then my job. I have no friends. I'm completely isolated without any sense of purpose or meaning. I'm gonna lose my apartment soon if I don't find a job. I looked in the mirror today and I look so unhealthy. I've dropped at least 20 lbs, need haircut, nails trimmed. Who's going to hire me? How will I ever pass a drug test when I smoke weed? Why am I even trying when there's no one and nothing left worth saving? If I could just learn to love myself again maybe things would be okay. I think that would be reason enough to quit for good. My social anxiety has me scared to approach NA and AA, though the social support would do me some good. I downloaded this app today because I need to tell someone how desperately I want a substance free life. I need to admit that this is destroying my life and stop lying to myself and everyone else.
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