disassociatedburden333 Member Profile

...See more I've been with this guy for going on 3 years. The first year was great. Kinda. I'm really in love with this guy and I'd do anything for him. The way he makes me feel on good days is over the top. However. He constantly throws up our miscarriage. Tells me it's my fault. Randomly searches me, daily. If not 2-3 times a day. I have a camera on me, not the entire home, just where I usually am, 24/7. Plus cameras outside our home. He checks my phone up to 5-6 even 8 times a day. He makes me go outside while he goes thru all my belongings. Takes what he has given me and the. Says it was only for me to use. If he bought it. And even if it's for a female. It's his. He yells at me and tells me I'm childish for trying to talk about whats bothering me. Tells me I'm childish for crying. He throws things at me. He's held guns to me, punched me, broke my cheek bone, left me in the middle of the night out in the middle of no man's land to walk home. He's kicked me out and made me sleep on the streets because "my mouth". I do have a tendency to call him out on the things that he does. Like, being on 20 different meet/chat/video/dating apps and sites. He tells me I'm childish for wanting social media to know we are in a relationship. We was always "in a relationship" until he put up he was single here recently. I have a schizophective disorder and I'm on medications for that and depression. He never takes me anywhere with him anymore. He accuses me of doing things I know I haven't done. He tells people he bought me a car, yet refuses to let me go anywhere but to the store and back. If I'm not back within 30mibs he threatens to call the cops and say I stole it. I'm on the insurance as a driver however. I'm not allowed to talk to people about my relationship issues. I'm not allowed to write a dairy or journal. He goes into my emails, google accounts, all the way to the deep roots of a phone. Extensive research. It's almost like living in a prison. I'm unsure because I've never been in one but it seems that way. I have to clean up everything after him and then get yelled at for moving stuff. He leaves everything everywhere. And my clean ups normally last about 10mins. I'm almost always home alone. Am I just dumb? He tells me that I have no rights. I walked into his life and left mine behind. I'm not even allowed to take a shower or bath unless he's home. He tells me I lie all the time and even tho I know I'm not, I have to agree with him or get kicked out. Everything is my fault and even if all the proof in the world shows my innocence on the camera, he refuses to look at it. If I get money in the mail from my mom or from surveys I do online. He takes it. Says it's his for taking care of me. I'm not suppose to talk when he's mad or take up for myself when he wrongfully accuses me. I don't have anywhere to go. I have like 2 friends I can't talk to. He tells me I deserve everything I get from him because I had a miscarriage. He's super nice and sweet on other days. Like polite, pleasant and such a gentleman. Anyone ever been in this type of situation?

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