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douxpretzel
99 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2019 Member sinceMay 24, 2019
Bio

hi :) currently i am trying to overcome my severe social and general anxiety, as well as trying to stay hopeful for the future. i enjoy drawing, playing video games, anime, and reading. i major in psychology, which i find quite ironic, but that is something i'm very interested in and enjoy a lot too

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stuck
Anxiety Support / by douxpretzel
Last post
 November 12th, 2019
...See more i feel unbelievably stuck, and it's all my fault. i've had years of therapy, i've taken medication for years, i thought i was doing everything right, but i keep finding myself back here. i've always struggled with anxiety, especially socially, but i feel like over the past three years i've let it completely consume me. i used to tell people how i felt, but now i fear it's become a chore for everyone around me, as few people in my life as they are. i hate bringing people down like this, and i feel so guilty for wasting everyone's time and energy when i'm not getting better, it feels like it's only been getting worse. i even feel guilty typing this and wasting someone's time if they're reading it. it's hard to not feel so alone when my anxiety isolates me from the world around me. i unconsciously dissociate so much to cope that i struggle to differentiate what's real and what's not. the scariest thing to me, above all my other worries and fears, is time. time keeps moving, whether we like it or not, whether we're feeling better or not, and whether we're ready for it or not. i'm very sure i'm not ready. but i've run out of time. i need to be ready. i need to get better. i want to shut off my brain or start my life over as someone else entirely that doesn't fear leaving the house and interacting with people as much as i do. i feel like a toy you keep checking to make sure the batteries are still in because no matter how many times you push the buttons, it still doesn't work. why don't i work?
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