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dummypuppetsocket
382 M Embraced 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2020 Member sinceSeptember 29, 2020
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it is what it is

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therapy?
Anxiety Support / by dummypuppetsocket
Last post
 October 5th, 2020
...See more I am very new here so I dont know if im doing this correctly im sorry if this is the wrong place to put this but I would just like to let some things off my chest and get some answers Im sorry if this is a little difficult to read my keyboard is broke so I cant really use proper punctuation Long story short, I have a very difficult time making and keeping friends its been getting to me a lot more recently I feel like no one wants me around even the people who I actually thought were my friends. They act like they loose interest and I end up making myself believe I am nothing but a burden to them and they no longer need me around. I was nothing but a fill in until they found someone else and then im too scared and nervous to speak them again. I dont feel like they are losing anything of value I guess. I am so used to people leaving me I might as well do the job for them. Im so tired of being alone and doing the things I do. I feel like im making a big deal out of nothing and there are much worse problems then loneliness but its really taking a hard hit on my mental state and self confidence. I cried so hard a few days ago so overwhelmed with so much thoughts and memories of my past friends ill never see again I ended up getting sick to the point where I threw up and felt the overeffects the day after. If anybody has actually read up until this point, should I get therapy? I feel like I have so many thoughts and emotions I really need to let out and I just really need someone to support me especially when I have no one else around anymore. I feel somewhat silly and embarrassed asking for it and im unsure how to bring it up. I did go to therapy a very long time ago and got told I had social anxiety but I only ever went once and nothing further came out of it. I dont even think loneliness is the only problem. I just straight up feel awful and I make myself believe awful things that put me even downer. I dont know what to do anymore I feel like im losing my mind in a way. Consumed by nothing but negativity and the silence of nothing but my own thoughts and awful company. I am truly own worst enemy.
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