therapy?
I am very new here so I dont know if im doing this correctly im sorry if this is the wrong place to put this but I would just like to let some things off my chest and get some answers Im sorry if this is a little difficult to read my keyboard is broke so I cant really use proper punctuation
Long story short, I have a very difficult time making and keeping friends its been getting to me a lot more recently I feel like no one wants me around even the people who I actually thought were my friends. They act like they loose interest and I end up making myself believe I am nothing but a burden to them and they no longer need me around. I was nothing but a fill in until they found someone else and then im too scared and nervous to speak them again. I dont feel like they are losing anything of value I guess. I am so used to people leaving me I might as well do the job for them.
Im so tired of being alone and doing the things I do. I feel like im making a big deal out of nothing and there are much worse problems then loneliness but its really taking a hard hit on my mental state and self confidence. I cried so hard a few days ago so overwhelmed with so much thoughts and memories of my past friends ill never see again I ended up getting sick to the point where I threw up and felt the overeffects the day after.
If anybody has actually read up until this point, should I get therapy? I feel like I have so many thoughts and emotions I really need to let out and I just really need someone to support me especially when I have no one else around anymore. I feel somewhat silly and embarrassed asking for it and im unsure how to bring it up. I did go to therapy a very long time ago and got told I had social anxiety but I only ever went once and nothing further came out of it.
I dont even think loneliness is the only problem. I just straight up feel awful and I make myself believe awful things that put me even downer. I dont know what to do anymore I feel like im losing my mind in a way. Consumed by nothing but negativity and the silence of nothing but my own thoughts and awful company. I am truly own worst enemy.
@dummypuppetsocket
Kids can be cruel and obtuse when it comes to the feelings of others. You are completely valid to feel the intense pain you are describing. You are showing a great deal of courage to ask for help when you need it. Even posting about your experience is a big step. Feel that courage within you and keep it with you when talking to your parents about a therapist. You have no reason to be embarassed. Seeing a therapist is pretty common these days. I don't know how your parents are but asking to see a professional could be seen as a sign of maturity. You're taking responsibility for your mental health.