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dynamicPark9190
88 M Embraced
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2018 Member sinceSeptember 6, 2018
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Do I actually have BED?
Eating Disorder Support / by dynamicPark9190
Last post
 September 11th, 2018
...See more Ever since middle school, I have struggled with my eating. Its been on and off, ranging from properly fueling my body, stuffing myself stupid, and eating so little that I would shake. I binge probably once every 1-2 weeks, usually when I am home alone and not doing anything. On paper, this sounds like a form of BED. But saying that just seems disrespectful... I am a little heavier than most of my friends, but I believe it is because I have been weightlifting and doing CrossFit for about two years. By no means am I fat, so why do I feel that way? I restrict my eating, then end up binging when Im alone. I dont feel like I fit with the BED label, but calling myself anorexic seems even more ridiculous. I know I need help but I dont know what to identify with or how to get better. I dont like the weight Im at but cant stop binging. Even when I try to go on a good, adequate diet I end up binging. Thoughts and advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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I think I may have a form of binge eating disorder
Eating Disorder Support / by dynamicPark9190
Last post
 September 6th, 2018
...See more Im so lost... Even thinking that I may have a binge eating disorder sounds crazy and it even makes me feel bad because I am not overweight or anything. But Im not sure what else to call it. What do you call randomly going into a bout of eating an enormous, ridiculous amount of food? I hate myself afterwards. I starve myself afterwards. But the cycle is cruel and it just keeps happening over and over while I gradually, slowly put on pounds. Ever since seventh grade this has been happening: it started near the end of the year with me barely eating and weighing myself almost every night, hoping to see that stupid f*cking number go down. But Im weak, so I would end up binging on the weekends when I was alone, and afterwards laying down on my bed feeling like an idiot. I did this to myself, I would think. No one forced me to drown myself in food. Eighth grade came around and for a while I did the same thing. Eventually, I actually had good nutrition for a while (I am a weightlifter and CrossFit-er) But now here I am, a 14 year-old girl starting high school. Everyone here is so skinny and pretty, and Im not far from that. Being truly skinny feels so close, but I cant stop binging whenever I diet. Im just looking for some guidance. Thank you.
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