I think I may have a form of binge eating disorder
Im so lost... Even thinking that I may have a binge eating disorder sounds crazy and it even makes me feel bad because I am not overweight or anything. But Im not sure what else to call it. What do you call randomly going into a bout of eating an enormous, ridiculous amount of food? I hate myself afterwards. I starve myself afterwards. But the cycle is cruel and it just keeps happening over and over while I gradually, slowly put on pounds. Ever since seventh grade this has been happening: it started near the end of the year with me barely eating and weighing myself almost every night, hoping to see that stupid f*cking number go down. But Im weak, so I would end up binging on the weekends when I was alone, and afterwards laying down on my bed feeling like an idiot. I did this to myself, I would think. No one forced me to drown myself in food. Eighth grade came around and for a while I did the same thing. Eventually, I actually had good nutrition for a while (I am a weightlifter and CrossFit-er) But now here I am, a 14 year-old girl starting high school. Everyone here is so skinny and pretty, and Im not far from that. Being truly skinny feels so close, but I cant stop binging whenever I diet. Im just looking for some guidance. Thank you.
@dynamicPark9190
Hi. Well done for sharing, I know that can be a really hard thing to do. It also sounds like you have a good awareness of whats happening.
with me barely eating and weighing myself almost every night, hoping to see that stupid f*cking number go down. But Im weak, so I would end up binging on the weekends - could it be that as you were not eating enough during the week, by the time the weekend got there your body just needed food? And then because you eat a lot on the weekend you then repeated the cycle? Obviously I might be wrong, just a thought though.
Eventually, I actually had good nutrition for a while (I am a weightlifter and CrossFit-er) - CrossFit-er hey? I heard that was really tough and demanding, although I have never done it myself!! But form your comment it does sound like you have a good idea of how to do good nutrition. I wonder if the weight lifting and crossfitting means that you were aiming for a toned physique, one that demands exercise and good nutrition?
but I cant stop binging whenever I diet. - maybe the diet is wrong then? becuase you are not eating enough to support your growing body.
I'm just looking for some guidance - Not gospel, but just me saying, I like it when I see people being healthy and fit, a combination of weightlifting ( totally admire the cross fitters from what I have seen on YouTube!!) and the correct nutrition to support that. For me its just a better way to live and look.
I dont know if that will help you in any way, I hope so.
Take Care
paul