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electricreach
637 M Embraced 5
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2023 Member sinceOctober 19, 2021
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sh all my life, getting worse?
Self-Harm Recovery / by electricreach
Last post
 October 20th, 2021
...See more i'm 24 and i rely on sh to punish myself when i'm in a really extreme place with my feelings. i feel subhuman and grotesque. i frequently cut my thighs with rusty items, hit myself in my face, punch myself in the head, slam my head into hard walls and often contemplate suicide. i don't have any choice but to keep on living. i have no support system and often deal with thoughts of dying, so i self harm as a sort of deal with myself where i keep on living on the condition that i punish myself for being a grotesque and subhuman person. i had a therapist once try to report me to social services after hearing about my alcoholic parents so i don't generally seek it out now. i worry things will get worse, but my life isn't improving either. any help would be appreciated. ive self harmed intermittently since at least age 11 and i've considered suicide since i think age 8. if i die i know i will leave other people's lives in ruins, so i have to figure something out. i know that's a fucked up way to see it but i don't care about myself anymore. thanks for any help
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