emotionalSquare9222 Member Profile

...See more My gf told me she is suicidal today and I have been panicking ever since. She has been suffering with depression for a while now and I have tried and tried to get her into therapy, I am literally crying over the phone (we are long distance for the next few weeks) and she is refusing. Initially I thought I had found a therapist offering a texting service, which she agreed to, but she isnt eligible. I told her this and she is refusing to do it over the phone or in person (she doesnt like to talk about stuff, she wont even tell me whats wrong). She keeps saying that it doesn't make sense as I didn't seem to care as much before, when last time it happened I did the exact same. I cried and told her to promise not to commit suicide (which she did). She also brought up a different past incident which I will describe: She randomly stopped talking and was very very upset I was playing on my pc with my friends, sitting across from the bed she was lying on. I told her you can talk to me im right here ok. She left my room and went to her room (we live in the same flat) I made her pasta and she didnt eat it. I asked if she would like space and she didnt respond so i left her there. I slept in my room and she slept in hers (we usually sleep in the same bed). The next mornign I knocked on her door, and she still wasnt talking. I came back and stayed with her, ordered her food and essentially fed her so she would eat it. She seemed to start to cheer up, and eventually i went to my room to play with my friends, which made her sad once again I came back adn stayed the night and the next two days with her. I also cried in front of her saying that I was scared that she wasnt eating or talking for days which she responded to by hugging me without saying a word. She says that in this incident "I didn't care as much" and that "it's weird" that I care so much now. I said to her that I hate seeing her like that and she said she doesn't believe me. While I was crying she showed no reaction and it even seemed at times that she was almost smirking. This has happened a few times (me crying and her not showing any emotional response). I dont know what to believe anymore I'm distraught and shaking and extremely anxious. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep. I didnt know what to do so i thought id post here. If anyone would like to chat on PM I would greatly appreciate it. Im really worried that im overthinking wayyy too much too because i know i can do that and when im long distance i get severe anxiety. I would like to know if anyone else thinks its manipulation or if shes just depressed. I have also been looking it up all day and everyone says you should leave if they refuse help and I dont want to and im just so lost right now. I made a post on reddit and someone also said to leave.she seems completely different in person, shes much more caring and she helps alot. she pays for things, cooks and cleans for me, helps me pack. but when we are long distance shes a lot more cold i think i dont know. i dont feel like shes the type to manipulate ppl but im not sure of anythign rn. I can also deal with the depression a lot better in person too.

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