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energeticWest1129
1 37,337 M Determined Treads 9
dont like being labelled but severely socially anxious these days
PathStep 117 Compassion hearts1,102 Forum posts48 Forum upvotes125 Current upvotes125 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2025 Member sinceFebruary 7, 2017
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Some hopes - one day at a time
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by energeticWest1129
Last post
 February 2nd, 2025
...See more After a series of days and months drinking a lot of alcohol, smoking cigarettes, today is one of those days when I feel like I have taken back control over my life. im grateful, very lucky to have the supports from my parents. I’m lucky to even have financial support instead of living in poverty during time of jobless. i cooked myself healthy meal today and started being more active with exercises. update: day 1 of 0️⃣ ciggi; day 4 of 0️⃣ alcohol. im planning to do a full 24 hours fasting in the next few days to clean and detox, need to think this through and prepare accordingly. I’m worried about the upcoming family gathering because it is very likely that my family will forces drink so I have to decline somehow politely ! 🏝️
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Nicotine quitting
Addiction Support / by energeticWest1129
Last post
 January 26th, 2025
...See more I need help with nicotine quitting. Maybe I will just write updates here.  I started vaping about 3 months ago, and started picking up smoking cigarettes over the past 2 weeks. I smoke Esse specifically which is said to be lighter than other types, but over the past 3 days, I smoke like 6 Esse cigarett each time (specially social situations that stress me out lately).... So I need to find a way to quit cold turkey, or cutting down slowly, I really don't know!! 
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How a Difficult relationship with my mother
Family & Caregivers / by energeticWest1129
Last post
 May 11th, 2025
...See more I used to think of my mom as a codependent, controlling, narcissistic women. But now I feel touched as I grow older and putting myself on her shoes instead of evilizing her and victimizing myself. I feel very ashamed by myself for not being able to get ahead in life and I often feel like a dead-weights, a burden towards my mom and the rest of my family.  Both of my parents are already retired age and I feel a strong sense of responsibility that it's time for me to get ahead in life.  The issue is sometimes I have so much resistance towards my parents and specifically my mom. 
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I need help - a bit desperate vent and a quest for a brighter day.
20 & Over / by energeticWest1129
Last post
 April 23rd, 2025
...See more Hello, I'm an old member of the group but I'm not regularly active.  I just turned 30 recently, and It's hitting hard. I feel mentally crippled a lot of the time lately. I used to be the driver of my life but now I don't feel like I'm in control at all. I have been financially on my parents over the past 9 months, which sucks so bad. I feel ashamed about myself. And I've been picking up smoking habits over the past few months. I've gained 33 pounds over the past few years since covid and it sucks. Today I'm trying to quit smoking and it's feeling miserable, I feel like a zombie in a stupid body. But enough negativity. At least i've tried to go for a long walk and resisting the temptation as much as I can. I'm trying to process the next steps of my life, i went through this kinda depressive cycle before and I found the light at the end of the tunnel, maybe right now is just another tunnel.  I need to work around my chemical balance in the brain during nicotine quitting. it feels horrible. an AI generated photo with my prompt "dopamine hits" - i hope to have a pet but taking care of them could be a pain...
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