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esternberg1
1 70 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2023 Member sinceMay 15, 2023
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Coping with BPD Outbursts
Personality Disorders Support / by esternberg1
Last post
 April 16th, 2024
...See more My fiancé has been getting more and more paranoid, angry and aggressive. Our relationship is severely strained but she keeps stating that if I can't deal with her and show patience when she is yelling and being hateful, then our relationship will never work out. She drags up the past CONTINUOUSLY and attacks me with statements like "You're a piece of *** partner," "You lie about everything" (which I absolutely do NOT,) "You shouldn't need to go to therapy to learn how to treat someone (as she screams at me and falsely accuses me of SO many things." She states that she has "proof" that I am doing all of these things but when asked to present it, she either states that she doesn't have to and slams a door or disengages. She will constantly accuse of of talking to other people and spreading rumors about her even if I am just sitting outside smoking a cigarette. I have asked her to get an evaluation but she states that it won't do any good because I am the one who needs to change otherwise she can't change. She throws things, spews absolute vile hatefulness and constantly threatens to leave or tells me that I need to "let her go." Then she begs me not to leave her. She will say things in anger and then completely deny that she said them stating that's not what she said and I am lying or not "quoting her correctly." Yesterday, (Mothers Day) she stated that she needed to burn some papers from work. She had an abortion last year (I was told I was sterile and at 51 years old had no reason to think otherwise.) I cleaned up the back deck for her as a gesture to give her what she had asked for (fire pit on the back deck) and she went from thanking me to saying that I spent all day working on a project for myself rather than being there for her. She thanked me for the mothers day card but literally did everything from telling me that I make her crazy to throwing food. I simply do NOT know how to deal with this.
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