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fairmindedCity2308
91 M Embraced
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceJune 22, 2015
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rape , sexual abuse. and no one seems to care
Trauma Support / by fairmindedCity2308
Last post
 June 22nd, 2015
...See more i was sexually abused and raped by my older brother since i was 8 years old till... honestly i can't remember. i managed to block all of that out of my mind for a while but i do know that it happened for more than a year  i grew up from then on not exactly remembering what had happened it was like it was in a a deep dark place in the back of my mind that i don't visit. when did i remember or let me rephrase that. when did my thick wall if denial come crashing down? when i was sexually abused by my uncle at age 12  it went on until this year ( i'm turning 17 now ) my uncle didn't rape me like my brother did but he did make me touch him and he did touch me , the last time he didn't i decided i can't take it any longer it i told my mother at first she believed me that is until she talked to him and asked him if he did touch me and  he denied it  it was so humiliating having my mother ask me if i was making this up and asking if i was sure. at that moment i felt all trust i have for my mom quickly disappeared i decided i would never talk to her about this stuff again a couple of months later i got worse nightmares panic attacks and PTSD i decided to tell my mother i wanted a therapist when i did she asked why would i need one ( she didn't know about my brother) but still sexual abuse is not easy to deal with so i told her about my brother she believed me but she didn't care that much. she even seem to listen when i said i wanted to talk to someone. and now my panic attacks are increasing and she doesn't understand she makes me go with her to crowded places ( witch really doesn't help with the panic attacks) and gets mad when i tell her i don't feel good it like she wants me to act like nothing of the above happened and now i barely sleep at night from the nightmares and i hate public places because of the panic attack. i know i need help but how would i get it when she's acting like all i'm doing is overreacting 
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