fallingIron143 Member Profile

...See more I started dating my boyfriend when I was 13, and he was 15. He loved me a lot, but something felt off in our relationship, especially as time went on. When he moved to another school, everything started to change. That's when he started getting toxic. He told me things like 'I only like flirting, and looking at other girls,' 'I don't wanna be in this relationship, I want to be friends with you,' and 'you made me an animal! I'm always angry now.' At the time, I thought it was all my fault. He was going through a lot, so I blamed myself, and I cried constantly. But, over time, he changed, and he became obsessed with me. When he moved schools, he became more distant and started acting like he didn’t care. At one point, he even told me he didn’t want a relationship, just to be friends. I felt horrible about myself, constantly questioning if I was doing something wrong. I kept thinking it was my fault. But in reality, he was going through his own struggles. Now, looking back, I realize it wasn't my fault at all. He was just pushing me away. Last month, at my school’s annual day, I went through a tough situation with him. He came just to see me. I left my friends behind to find a spot to be with him. He got mad at me because I didn't see him earlier, and all his friends had to wait because of me. I even skipped the final dance program to find him. When he got mad at me, I confronted him about how it made me feel. I told him I wanted to end things. He cried and apologized, saying he loves me, but he got angry because of his own situation. He promised he'd change. I felt torn, but I left and went to the auditorium. However, I ran to the washroom and cried. I regretted everything, even though he made me cry so much. But at the same time, he helped me a lot too. That night, I blocked him on WhatsApp. I was just emotionally drained. I was the only one who didn’t enjoy the day. When I got home, I cried my heart out. At midnight, he sent me messages saying he loves me and can’t live without me, and he apologized while crying. I forgave him the next day. He changed a lot after that, but still... he won’t let me talk to other boys or wear certain outfits. He’s less angry now, but there’s still control in some parts of the relationship. I don’t even know what to feel anymore. My parents and sister found out about our relationship, and they were furious with me. They hurt me so badly, both emotionally and mentally. It felt like torture. I cried every single day because of their reactions. They didn’t understand why I was with him, and their constant anger made me feel like I was making all the wrong decisions. After everything, I felt like I was carrying this weight alone. Even though he’s changed in some ways, he’s still possessive and tries to control me in other aspects, like who I talk to or how I dress. He’s obsessed with me now, and at times, it feels like he suffocates me with his need for constant attention and validation. I feel conflicted because I love him, but I’m also not sure if this is the relationship I want anymore. It’s been over two years, and I keep thinking back on everything, but I still feel stuck. He tries to be there for me, but I can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. I don’t want to hurt him, but I also don’t want to keep feeling trapped in a relationship that feels off at times. I’m really confused and I don’t know what to do anymore. Yeah, I'm losing feelings. I don't know. I mean when I tell him to stop ruling over me, he changes but it's like- he doesn't want to do that but he scared whether I'll leave him if he does something i don't like.

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