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fearlessJet3715
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PathStep 5 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2026 Member sinceJuly 27, 2018
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When I was a kid
Trauma Support / by fearlessJet3715
Last post
August 28th, 2018
...See more Hey, so I guess I'll just start at the beginning. When I was maybe 6 or 7 I was in the upstairs bedroom of my grandparents house with my twin brother and my cousin who is the same age, I'll call her Isabelle (Not her real name) and my grandparents, parents and aunt and uncle were downstairs. We were sitting on the big double bed playing, I can't remember what exactly, when Isabelle suddenly lunged at me. I was wearing a skirt and she put her hand up my skirt and tried to put her fingers inside me. As she did she was saying things like, do you like that? and You like that don't you?. It must have only lasted a minute at most but I remember thinking hat it was never going to end and I was kicking and telling her to get off. She only stopped when I fell off the bed. I can remember being shocked and scared, and I felt betrayed that my brother hadn't helped me. (I realise now that he was also 6 or 7 so wouldn't have known what to do either) I didn't tell anyone and I forgot about it completely until a few months ago when I watched a documentary called 'kids abusing kids' which seems to have brought it back. Now I can't help but to wonder what impact it had on me and how it's affected my life. I've always avoided being alone in the same room as Isabelle and I never liked her, although I couldn't tell you why I didn't like her when I was younger. I'm also very shy and quiet, I have severe depression and anxiety but I'm getting better with that. Of course, there are other factors that have caused my depression and anxiety but I can't help but wonder if maybe I would be different if this hadn't happened. I also don't know how to feel about it. I feel hurt and upset but at the same time I feel like I can't be angry at Isabelle because she was only 6 or 7 at the time too so she wouldn't have understood any better than me what she was doing and how wrong it was.
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