featherandfairytales1801 Member Profile

...See more All I can describe it as is mental anguish. You know the feeling when youre trying not to cry and it feels like your stomach is in a knot? I have this most days at some point ive been out of uni for about two years and Im supposed to be freelancing in my industry. Ive had such bad luck. Ive lost a lot of hope in myself, I never really had much of a goal in the first place but my life just feels deflated. I had so much hope I was going to be someone, and I still hope I will be now, but I have no idea how. I dont have a purpose at the moment. I cant enjoy life because I feel like Im a fraud and should be working. I used to have a personality and a bit of character, but Ive just lost myself. I dont even know if Im depressed, but my situation is making me feel so stuck and frustrated. I want to scream! I have no social interaction outside my family or my boyfriend, and every day I feel bad I offload it to him and I cant keep doing that. Everyone seems to have a purpose but me. I feel so stuck. Its like Im in a nightmare and I cant scream. I want to have a job but I want something that fulfills me, I just dont know where to start. Ive had enough bad luck as it is freelancing when all my other uni friends have been successful. I feel like such a failure.

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