Help! I don
All I can describe it as is mental anguish. You know the feeling when youre trying not to cry and it feels like your stomach is in a knot? I have this most days at some point
ive been out of uni for about two years and Im supposed to be freelancing in my industry. Ive had such bad luck. Ive lost a lot of hope in myself, I never really had much of a goal in the first place but my life just feels deflated. I had so much hope I was going to be someone, and I still hope I will be now, but I have no idea how. I dont have a purpose at the moment. I cant enjoy life because I feel like Im a fraud and should be working.
I used to have a personality and a bit of character, but Ive just lost myself. I dont even know if Im depressed, but my situation is making me feel so stuck and frustrated. I want to scream! I have no social interaction outside my family or my boyfriend, and every day I feel bad I offload it to him and I cant keep doing that.
Everyone seems to have a purpose but me. I feel so stuck. Its like Im in a nightmare and I cant scream. I want to have a job but I want something that fulfills me, I just dont know where to start. Ive had enough bad luck as it is freelancing when all my other uni friends have been successful. I feel like such a failure.
@featherandfairytales1801
Depression is very isolating so is understandable you feel so alone and frustrated. However it isn't the case.
Trust me the majority of people have no clue what they're doing lol. Everyone is lost, and we all are trying to find our paths. We just pretend stuff is amazing (which is sad).
You aren't supposed to be amazing right now but doesn't mean you won't be in the future. Life is too unpredictable , seriously.
Right now try to work on your mental health first. if you are at a good place mentally, the job and everything else will fall into place naturally.
In terms of socialising, just go out. To the park, grocerie stores, coffee shop , anywhere you can think of. Go out without expectations, yet try to smile and talk to people. Try to find common points of interests with them (even if is just the weather or the sweater they have).
best of luck! 
@featherandfairytales1801
I have (and do) feel the exact way you do, no joke. It was like reading something straight out of my head!
Feeling this way sucks, a lot. I hope things start to look up for you! I believe in you!
