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fluien
1 714 M Little Steps
PathStep 15 Compassion hearts54 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes15 Current upvotes15 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceApril 2, 2024
Bio

Hi, I'm fluien, shortly "flu"


I study literature and psychology, and also teach English and German.

I am a mom of two beautiful bunnies.

I like singing even if I don't sound great.

Sims4 is my guilty pleasure.

Recent forum posts
im so tired
Anxiety Support / by fluien
Last post
 April 19th
...See more i'm so tired of having this weird feeling in my head, like pressure, like dizziness, i don't know what to call it. i'm so tired of trying to show up. i'm so tired of trying to feel better. i'm so tired of trying to keep opening up and not shut myself down. i'm so tired of being afraid to leave the house because i don't trust my body to carry me to where i have to be. i'm so tired of coughing and crying, feeling like i'll throw up in a second and keep that feeling for some time, i'm so tired of trying to distract myself, so tired of trying to stay grounded. so tired of trying to be healthy and still feeling ugly. i'm so tired of trying to hold on. maybe i never got over it in the first place, maybe this is the new thing, but i'm tired of feeling sick. and tired of pretending not to feel sick. i'm tired and i just don't want to be anymore. i'm tired of dreaming and then thinking who am i to dream and plan, when the day comes it'll just be hard to step out my apartment. i'm tired of trying to find the words for all this because this is merely telling it. i just want to close my eyes and sleep until i feel better, then start a new life. 
Recurring dreams
Trauma Support / by fluien
Last post
 April 21st
...See more Hi everyone, I was in an abusive relationship 8 years ago. Later I found out it was all kinds of abuse, and although I was able to help myself on physical and sexual parts, psychological part seems to have stuck with me. And that he was a narcissist. Lately I have been having dreams almost a few nights a week, where I'm back together with him and plotting to leave. Events are different every time but the feeling and the theme are the same. These recurring dreams are new. It would happen every now and then, but lately it's too many. I feel like I'm reliving the last few months of that relationship over and over again, a few nights every week. Has anyone had a similar experience? Any insights on what's happening?
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