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forcefulVillage1767
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2025 Member sinceMay 17, 2025
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How to get an apology
Relationship Stress / by forcefulVillage1767
Last post
May 23rd, 2025
...See more My boyfriend and I have been together 3.5 years long distance. We are in our 30’s. The relationship started out great but I quickly began to take notice of his anger. In the beginning, he was open with me about his anger issues but basically said that the solution was to not *** him off… A couple months ago, he made the comment that I need to “straighten up”. It very much felt like a father scolding his child. I replied by saying “don’t say that, you’re not my dad.” To which he responded, “well maybe you need a dad to straighten you the *** up.” A little backstory…my dad died 7.5 years ago and my boyfriend is aware. Recently, after taking a few months break, he’s back to hanging out with his friend who is a terrible influence on him. I’ve been around him and he’s always pushing my boyfriend to drink hard liquor. In return, my boyfriend will treat me like crap afterwards. A few days ago, we hadn’t spoken the whole entire day, which was odd. After my boyfriend got off work, he went straight to the friends house and didn’t say anything to me. I called and texted but received no response. Whenever this friend is involved, my boyfriend suddenly forgets all about me. It’s so bizarre. He finally called. I told him I was upset that he hadn’t texted all day to which he responded, “can you shut up for 2 seconds so I can put eye drops in?!” I said “no, I don’t need to stop talking for you to put eye drops in.” I continued by saying, “you should have let me know you were going to his house. This is honestly why I don’t like him.” His response was absolutely disgusting. He yelled “*** YOU!” to me. I asked him, “did you really just say that to me?”  He proudly and arrogantly responded, “yep, I suuure did!”  I hung up and blocked him for a bit, as I knew he would repeatedly keep calling to argue if I didn’t.  The next morning I woke up to a text: “good morning. I love you.” However, he didn’t apologize. I didn’t respond, and that text was sent on Wednesday. We haven’t talked since then. I think he definitely owes me an apology but whenever I ask for one (in other situations), he’s gets very angry and says he will apologize on his own terms if he feels the need to…which he never does… So it’s just upsetting and hurtful. I finally texted him today and said he needed to call me today. He responded “oh so now you want to talk? You haven’t said anything to me since Tuesday. I’ll call tonight, I’m not gonna fight at work.” When he does call…how can I gently request an apology without him getting angry?
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